Brooke and Kenai

Things I've Learned in Iowa...

2011-12-01T18:08:00.008-07:00

I've learned that hearing my nephew shriek my name with joy and run to me with open arms is one of the best feelings in the world.

I've learned that a horizon without mountains is void of beauty.

I've learned that with patience and persistence after a big life change my dog will eventually eat again. It may take three months but he will eat again.

I've learned that the important people still love me as much as they did when I was 19.

I've learned that one can actually have a craving for Moab, Utah.

I've learned that I would rather clean a foot of snow off of my car than have to scrape even half a windshield of frost.

I've learned that there are a lot of really down-to-earth people in the midwest. I like that.

I've learned that a real friend will stay just as close when you live across the country.

I've learned that I have a real friend.

I've learned that expensive flat irons really are better for your hair.

I've learned that now is the perfect time to prepare for my next adventure.

I've learned that I made the right decision.

what it's like to have a real best friend forever...

2011-11-09T11:37:00.009-07:00

yep. it happened pretty much like i expected it would.

first my mom came to help me clean my apartment and get it ready for the visit of my BFF. reality was this...

then my BFF showed up.

these guys played a lot.

there was pumpkin licking,

trick-or-treating, haunted hay rack rides and the Wel Come Inn.

we spent a lot of time with the world's cutest nephew.

we saw some wildlife up close...real close.

we let loose and laughed a little...actually, a lot.

the four of us went on a hike at Lake McBride. I realized that those of us on two legs are still the bestest friends ever and it will stay that way.

i also realized we're both still really silly and THAT will stay that way too.

This is what it's like to have a real best friend forever.

Those Weenies Aren't Going to Roast Themselves...

2011-10-26T19:41:00.003-06:00

Here I am. Back on track. My mind is thinking creatively again. My soul is living happily again. My heart is loving again. There are very few things about my life that are not ideal at this point in time. A BFF too far away. No mountains to speak to my soul. But I have things back that I haven’t felt in a long time. Creativity. Love. Happiness. Soon my life will feel whole again. For two days anyway. When the world’s best friend on the planet comes to visit me. She’ll only visit the plains of the midwest for but a moment. In that moment we will laugh. We may cry. We will spend time with people who love us. We will roast weenies at a small town Halloween celebration. We may trick or treat. We will be completely content and happy watching our dogs be reunited. We will understand how they feel. We’ll go to Scheel’s and look at the giant poster of me that hangs from the ceiling in my ski shop. We’ll probably laugh about that a little bit. We’ll talk about how nice my supervisors are. We’ll talk about how much they appreciate me and educate me. We’ll talk about how changing jobs was the best thing I ever did. Even if there aren’t mountains here. Even if my best friend and Moab are really far away and personal visits are too terribly infrequent. We’ll talk about how I did what had to be done. We’ll stay up way too late. We’ll wake up early because “those weenies aren’t gonna roast themselves”. Who knows, we could drive a combine. Or a tractor. It’s hard to say.

Work=WOW!

2011-10-20T20:58:00.003-06:00

Today was Thursday. My day off. So why, you ask, would I think about work all day? Because Wednesday was AWESOME!!! Beneath a giant poster with my face on it I met with the corporate line leader of Alpine and Nordic skis for all of Scheel's. The primary purpose of the visit was for him to teach me the things I need to know to be a successful shop manager. The secondary purpose of the visit was for him to evaluate my shops thus far. It's pretty typical to achieve the rating of "meeting or exceeding Scheel's standards". I guess that happens most of the time. There's only one rating above "meeting or exceeding"...it's "Best of the Best". I guess that doesn't happen most of the time. So you must be wondering, "what evaluation did my two ski shops receive?" Yeah, you guessed it...BEST OF THE BEST! For both shops. No big. I rock. And I finally work for people who appreciate and recognize that. And for people who encourage the development of my skills because they are as interested in my success as I am. It's great. So much different than....well, you know.

On another work note: Sunday I'm headed to Fargo, North Dakota for my second Scheel's University. It's three days of training. Intense. Hands-on. Fun. So. Much. Info! The first one I went to was at the end of September in Souix Falls, South Dakota. It was the Ski/Snowboard/Hockey University. Needless to say I learned the most about hockey there. Everything else was pretty much old hat for me. :-) This time I'll be in Fargo for two and a half days learning about all of the exercise equipment and products that we sell. I'll get to use them all. This is how training should be! Training ends Wednesday at noon. I'll get home Wednesday night. Hopefully I'll manage to get my puppy home that night. I'll be missing him like crazy by then. Thursday I have a day off to recoup. I'll rest up from the travels. Most importantly, I'll clean and pretty up my apartment because MY BFF and MOLLY ARE COMING TO VISIT KENAI and I ON FRIDAY!!! Best day EVA!

things that have happened since then

2011-10-18T19:11:00.008-06:00

first, there was one hell of a going away party

then there was a weepies concert of a lifetime

after that there was breakfast with the krankys.

later we visited milts and moab

and eventually saw the best parts of colorado

then we partied with the best people in colorado...and the weepies, of course

after the sad goodbye i made my way across the plains

the next day, my first day on the new job, looked like this

Kenai and I spent a lot of time running...and getting our feet wet

this was the taste of my birthday courtesy of my BFF

and this was the company for my birthday, my favorite little dude in his choo choo hat

then there was the day after my birthday...better late than never, i suppose

on most of my days off of work i found myself on bike rides like this one

and then my niece got married to spencer and gave these two cause to boogie together, for that i am thankful

a few other things happened too that weren't documented in photos:

i went to south dakota

i moved into a basement apartment in coralville

i have been using a sewing machine for the past three days trying to sew my own curtains...i'll keep you posted on that one

i'm going to north dakota next week

my dog has a serious problem with his ears and it's making me crazy!

and my BFF and her dog are coming to visit me in 10 (almost 9) days!!!! Best news ever. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

2011-08-10T14:05:00.004-06:00

well, here i am. two weeks away from my very last day of work. and 16 days away from leaving utah.

how do i feel???

I'M FREAKIN' OUT!

okay, i really am wiggin' a little but in complete honesty my feelings right now pretty much run the whole gamut of emotions.

i feel stressed because there are a few things that haven't gone quite as smoothly as I had hoped. i.e. closing up the lease with the property management company and getting my belongings from utah to iowa. it'll all work out. my big problem is trying not to be in control of every tiny detail of every little thing. i bet you're shocked.

i'm sad. sad to leave the mountains. sad to leave my best friend. sad to be so far away from moab. sad to rip my puppy away from his best friend, molly. i'm sad because i worry that adventure will be harder to come by in the flatland.

i'm so stoked. i'm excited to live REALLY close to my nephew. i'm excited to take him camping. hiking. swimming. canoeing. i'm looking forward to being near all of my family. i'm looking forward to celebrating birthdays. thanksgiving. christmas. holidays. together. i'm beyond pumped to start a new job. in a new place. with new people. who are excited to have me. and i'm excited to have them.

i'm happy. happy that my bff and i are crossing a lot of things off of my bucket list. i'm happy that all of my stuff is packed. i'm happy that my apartment is entirely cleaned. spic and span. ready for an inspection. ready to no longer be a part of my life. i'm happy that my going away party is a themed party. white trash bash...don't miss it. i'm happy that i have my pup to share this new adventure with. we're gonna have so much fun. i'm happy that i don't have many more days of work left. very happy. i'm happy that i need to go shopping at the D.I. to purchase something to wear to my going away party...seriously, don't miss it.

gotta do watcha gotta do

2011-07-28T09:36:00.006-06:00

four weeks from today will be my final day of work for Salomon. i'm looking forward to peacing out of here. peace out bitties. in the meantime, i'm spending most of my time trying to squeeze in ALL of the things that i want to do before i move AND attempting to pack up and clean my apartment. i'm busy.

last weekend i managed to hike the notch in the uintas. i'd been wanting to do it again for nearly two years. and this time it was best because i got to do it with my best friend and our dogs, who are also best friends. it was beautiful and we hiked far. but it didn't seem that far. the beauty masks everything. the dogs did great. they must have been in heaven too. the final half of the hike was the part we lovingly refer to as WNV (West Nile Virus). i'm not a terribly religious person these days but i'm telling you it's a miracle that jaymee and i both got out of there without the wretched disease. there were more mosquitos on us than...well, there were a LOT. we reached our highest elevation while at the top of the notch. 10,020...that's high.

my bff wrote a better story about the trip here.

i'm happy. i've been doing stuff i've wanted to do. and i've been lucky enough that my best friend can join me on most of my adventures. we have a dry erase board in her kitchen with my bucket list on it. there's some really good stuff on there. basically the next three weeks are going to kick ass...there's no other option. time is winding down quick. for some reasons i don't like that but for other reasons i do.

if you want something in life, reach out and grab it

2011-07-18T21:56:00.000-06:00

i'm not exactly certain where to start on this one...i'm really not certain where this one started. did it start over a year ago when megan moved to germany? did it start memorial day weekend when i took a trip to iowa? or was it somewhere in between? maybe there was no specific moment when it started. maybe all of these tiny little moments culminated and now here i am. regardless of when or how the one thing i do know for certain is that this is where the universe wants me. wanna know how i know? because everything down to the teeniest, tiniest detail was orchestrated perfectly for my life to take this path. and it feels natural and right. it feels good.

this part goes out to the people like the ones who told me that i couldn't raise an australian shepherd puppy: don't tell me that i'm making the wrong decision here. if perhaps there was one point in time when you did know me that doesn't mean you know me now. if perhaps there was one point in time when i valued your opinion that doesn't mean i value it now.

so. here i stand on the precipice of a grand and new and lovely adventure. a new direction. i stand at the threshold of change. i needed change. big change. i have for a while. life was getting a little stale here. not the beauty though. the beauty of this place could never get stale or old or even boring. you've seen pictures. i can still visit. and i will.

soon i will bid farewell to this desert that i have called home for the last nine years. i will pack up my soob and hit the road. i'll drive with my favorite co-pilot to iowa. where i spent the formative years of my life. i'll leave my job at salomon. there are a few people that i will truly and genuinely miss working with. i will then begin a new chapter of my career with scheel's in iowa city. i am more than excited about this oppotunity and the change it is providing me.

rocky mountain high...idaho

2011-07-12T20:22:00.014-06:00

this weekend myself, my pup, and a few of my most favorite friends spent the weekend in the woods. it was great. truly great. the beauty of no cell phone service is underrated.

we left ogden at 1pm on friday en route to nowhere else but idaho. we stopped in blackfoot to say hello to orin and peggy and then, of course, stopped for dinner at the famed Rupe's. after dinner we were heading off of the grid. into the land of beauty, no cell phone service, and lovely outside smells. when we got to the cabin we all repeatedly commented on how nice the quiet and peace was. i think we all need more of that. we watched billy madison and i fell asleep. i think everyone else made deviled eggs and lit sparklers...i missed that part of the fun.

saturday we made a nice big breakfast of bacon, hashbrowns, and eggs. yum. that bacon was soooo good. thanks peggy. after breakfast we all enjoyed a bit of sun. then myself, JP, Sarrena, and Tyler took the 4 wheelers for a spin. we rode to girls camp but there were lots of campers so we left. then we rode up a big hill...turning around when we got to the top was a bit of a challenge but luckily the boys were both behind the wheel. then we stopped by a small stream and found a really pretty hawk. there's a chance he was an eagle but we didn't get close enough to really be able to tell. for the rest of saturday we enjoyed the quiet and peace of nature, soaked up the sun, watched tommy boy, made food on the fire, and loved being outside.

sunday was JP's birthday. we woke up to the water leaking out of the pvc pipe that had come out of it's fitting. we flushed the toilet fast and figured out how to live without water for the rest of the day. after breakfast we rode the 4 wheelers for a while. we went to tthe top of the hill to see the new windmills. there are a bunch of them now. i think they are pretty...weird, i know. after our 4 wheeler ride we cleaned up the cabin and packed up. from there we drove to a cave outside of idaho falls. it was really scary...but it got less scary when i realized that i was still wearing my sunglasses in the cave. i could really see better once i took them off...duh.

the weekend was great fun. i want to go back. i didn't even want to leave. and kenai was in heaven the entire time we were there. he explored in the woods. he got really dirty. and he carried around dead rodents. i let him. because we were on vacation and he was so happy.

justice and liberty for all...

2011-07-05T20:13:00.003-06:00

the fourth of july simply put, was full of beauty, fun and goodness. period. it began with huntsville's patriotic parade. this pup watched the parade in style. with a bone, fresh water, and a bag full of treats. after the parade kenai got to meet LOTS of kiddos. he loved them. he loved the attention. and he loved to lick their faces. after the parade we ran into one of our favorite kiddos, grady. i'm convinced he may be the world's cutest kid on the planet. after huntsville we were off to salt lake city for kenai to meet his auntie natalie allen. you see, she's been in chile since i brought him home to utah. this was a big moment...and he was clearly excited out of his mind. after we picked natalie up, exchanged a few hugs, and said hello the the allen family we were off to the one and only place that we would want to be on the day of our country's independence, kranky franks. taffy loves us. we love her. i'm glad natalie allen is home. so glad. oh and this little guy did kranky franks too. it wasn't his first time but it was the first time i documented it in photos.

in short, independence day was GREAT for us.

sunday funday

2011-07-03T21:03:00.005-06:00

today we slept in late. i like that my puppy sleeps through the night now. i like it even more that he sleeps in on the weekends and doesn't have any accidents. i love it that when he's ready to get up before me he'll quietly chew his bone or jump on the bed to cuddle with me until i am ready to get up. i love my dog.

by the time we got our lazy selves out of bed it was already well into the 90's. hot. way too hot. the only appropriate activity for weather like this (if not swimming or boating) is washing the car. first thing was first. i soaked my furry dog in cold water from the hose. he was hot. way too hot. he didn't much like being sprayed but he loved being cooled off. even more than that he loved rolling in the dirt/mud once wet. did i mention that i love my dog? i do.

once kenai was cooled off i went to work on the soob. each time between scrubbing and rinsing i left the hose flowing freely into the yard. with the high temps and intense sun our grass is dying and it could really use the extra water. kenai was highly entertained by this. he would run around the hose and play in the water. with this there was even more mud, dirt, and water. but he was happy.

so by the time my car was clean...my dog needed cleaning.

after the car was cleaned our neighbors came outside to enjoy the sunshine. so kenai played with charlie, the mini lab. and i played with jaelynn, the baby.

when kenai was finally dry we came inside. he napped. i watched a movie and got the best text message in the world. natalie allen is back from chile. not only is she on u.s. soil but she is at home in SALT LAKE CITY!!! i hope i get to see her soon. i. can't. wait.

later in the afternoon we ran errands. fed sweets. watered courtney's plants. went to home depot to buy screws. topped off the air in my car tires. put some new stickers on the soob. and while kenai ate dinner i went to the grocery store. he found no mischief while alone. i was proud. all in all it was a good, productive, relaxing day.

dont forget

2011-07-03T14:55:00.008-06:00

there we were. 9:15am on the first day of a three-day weekend. driving to the graves residence. to pick up aimee and stella. for a hike in the mountains. little did i know that the coolest hike of my life was ahead of me that day.

we started out on indian trail at rainbow gardens. from there we hiked east over the mountain and climbed up what seemed like a million switchbacks until we were just below the ridge. the view was beautiful. magnificent. awe-inspiring. in reality, there aren't words to explain it to you.

kenai and stella had a great time. they loved every minute. it was kenai's longest hike by far. rallied like a champ but was ready for a nap when we made it back to the trailhead.

a little self-timer miracle right there. aimee graves and myself living the high life. i believe it was shortly before we stopped for this picture that we saw an airplane flying...BELOW US!!! that's when you know you're high.

to sum up the greatness of this hike is hard. it was awesome. long. hard. steep. beautiful. fun. hot. sunny. shady. worth it. peaceful. inspiring.

i'm glad i didn't miss out on this. thanks aimee.

days like today...

2011-06-30T19:02:00.003-06:00

here we are. 7pm on a thursday night. i'm relaxing on my bed with the laptop "watching" along came polly. the furry, four legged love of my life is laying on my bed too. chewing on his favorite bone. leaving residue and crumbs all over the sheet. good thing tomorrow is laundry day. one more thing i never thought i'd let him do. but when he looks so happy...how can you take that away from him?

we've been on a few adventures lately. this week i spontaneously began trail running. yes. you heard me. i have worked for the leading manufacturer in trail running footwear for three years and didn't give trail running a try until this week. sue me. the beautiful thing is that i'm in love with it. we'd probably be out on the trail at this moment if my lower half weren't so sore i've contemplated the amputation of my legs.

our first run was tuesday after work. poor kenai had been pent up in his kennel for 9 hours both monday and tuesday while i worked. he needed to get out. to blow off some steam. and so did i...so did i. so i decided to take him on a hike. minor problem: i can't find any shorts suitable for a hike. well, my exo compression tights are clean. i'll wear them. but if i wear running tights i'll actually have to run...deal. but my dog tries to herd me when i run...we had a deal. we hit the trail. i started to run. my herding dog followed in a happy jog. no herding. no barking. no nipping at my calves. just a happy existence and the joy of being together with nature. then we made it to the canyon. where the water starts. my dog, the one who is frightful of waterfalls, got into the river up to his belly! mommy was proud. very proud. he drank. he cooled off. and i just rested. trail running is work.

my dog, whom i was convinced could not jump due to the fact that when we get in the car he simply stares at me waiting for me to lift him into the front seat, jumped over boulders twice his size. on the descent he maneuvered down the scree like a mountain goat. there was a moment when i questioned whether my brother had sold me a dog or a goat. alas, he cannot be milked so he must be a dog.

to sum this all up. becoming a dog mom has most certainly been the best decision of my life. he loves me even when i'm not happy. he always wants to hang out with me. when i have a bad day seeing him makes everything seem less horrible. having him in my life has inspired me to try new things. like trail running. i used to ride my bike obsessively. that's a little harder these days with my four legged companion. trail running is perfect for us and we'll keep doing it for a long time. i'm sure.

adventures of kenai the wonder pup.

2011-06-19T14:14:00.009-06:00

on mother's day weekend my little dude had some fun adventures. we went to idaho where we went four-wheeling with jaymee's family.

apparently when you're a dog riding four-wheelers really takes it out of ya...he was like this most of the day.

on mother's day kenai had a big adventure in salt lake with my friends mark and ann and their three golden retrievers. we went to city creek park where kenai had his very first off-leash park experience. mommy needed a valium but we got through it. he did great. he met a lot of new doggie friends. his confidence made me proud. he walked up to two bernese mountain dogs who were each 10 times his size and he wagged his tail and loved them like he was the big guy.

two weeks later he went on a BIG adventure. road trip to iowa. he loved every minute of it. even the long ride in the car.

he loved hanging out with grandma and grandpa and being able to run forever in their BIG yard.

more than anything else though he loved playing with his sister skeeter and cuddling with the gav-man. that love is mutual. i kinda wish that neither of them would grow up.

one week after returning from iowa kenai had another big weekend. his first little red riding hood bike ride! he was one of my two co-pilots for the big rig drive to lewiston.

he really loved manny, my other co-pilot.

he spent the day helping us all set up...well, he actually spent more time playing and trying on the wolf collar, but he had a great time.

so much fun, in fact, that he was tuckered out by the end of the evening.

friday night after the big dinner party he snuck into his first hotel. i really hope i'm not teaching him bad things...

saturday was the big day. his first little red riding hood bike ride. well, his was more of a trailer ride. i did all the work. we woke up early, ate lucky charms, drank chocolate milk and headed from logan to lewiston.

once in lewiston we got our gear ready and then we were off...

i think the favored part for all three of us was the rest stops and the yummy food...namely the costco animal crackers.

after a good rest we were on the road again.

and then, tragedy struck...i can't be certain of the reason but my little houdini, after many rides in his bike trailer found a way out. albeit a dangerous way but it was a way out. he crawled out of a tiny space in the front of the trailer which resulted in me dragging is precious little face on the highway until i realized what was going on. i think i may have been more devastated than him.

after a good cuddle and an evaluation of his injuries

i sent him back to the finish line with the s.a.g. driver. we were reunited at the finish line and i gave him all of the love in the world. i think he forgave me.

the weekend after little red kenai adventured in idaho for the second time. this time he got some good quality time with cambria and ashlynn.

stay tuned for more adventures from kenai...

Greetings from Ohio! "The great potato state"

2011-06-18T12:34:00.009-06:00

upon my return from san fran tragedy struck on the homestead in iowa. i wanted to be there so 48 hours later kenai and i found ourselves packing up the soob (aka subaru) and charting our course to the land of corn fields.

we left at noon on wednesday and arrived thursday at 2pm. kenai managed to get in a lot more napping than i did.

but he traveled better than i could ever have imagined on such an extensive road trip.

he's always surprising me.

when we rolled into town we stopped at the store to see grandma. we then headed off to pork's to find grandpa who was having his afternoon coffee. he was surprised to see us to say the least.

he loved kenai's bandanna that said "i love my grandpa".

the reason for our trip was that my dad had lost jake, his christmas present, his dog and his buddy. being a new dog parent myself, for the first time i understood what the pain of losing such a loved little critter would be. when kenai and i came to town we had also orchestrated a surprise for my dad. my brother still had one puppy left from kenai's litter.

it happened to be the runt of the litter and he agreed that we should give the dog to dad.

i was nervous at first because the loss of jake was so fresh and my dad had said when he lost jake that he didn't want any more dogs. as the moment of the dog gifting approached i had to send my mom on a beer run. i just needed a little something to calm the nerves. it worked. then kirstin showed up with the new pup. she was so precious and i was in love too. i carried the pup into my dad, handed him a beer, and after he called me an asshole i told him that she was a gift from me because since i live so far away i want to know that he always had a buddy to spend time with.

my fear didn't last long when less than five minutes later my dad was clearly in love with the new little pup. my favorite part was when he came out and talked to us all about picking out a name for her. he settled on skeeter. named after a dog that my uncle pete and aunt glenna had and strikingly fitting for her.

i got to spend four days with my family.

we dug up a time capsule.

we played with the puppies.

we drank beer.

we laughed.

we celebrated birthdays and anniversaries.

we cuddled babies.

we ate good food.

we were together. the time together made every long minute of driving worth it. i think that even kenai was a bit sad when we had to head west again. he loved playing with his little sister and became somewhat destructive when we returned to utah.

do you know the way to san jose?

2011-05-14T02:19:00.001-06:00

i've been singing that song to kevi multiple times a day since we've been here. she hates it. threatens to kill me in my sleep every time i sing it. but i lived long enough to make it to san francisco. thank god for that.

i've wanted to see this place since my childhood days of relentless full house episodes. in fact, when we drove across the golden gate bridge i imagined us all in a red convertible, top down and bob saget behind the wheel. i'd waited a long time for that moment.

reality was kevi and i flanking the cutest baby on earth, little allayna, in the back seat with lucy and ethel as pilot and copilot in the front. it was better than bob saget. i heard he's a dirty old man anyway...rox, i'll be adding that stand-up to my netflix queue, stat.

once in the city we had lunch at people's cafe on haight street. yeah, i went to haight street.

best day of my life so far. while eating lunch i spotted this little gem across the street:

after lunch we hit the t-shirt shop and then, of course, it was on to the piercing shop.

for me. i got my flapper pierced. i might have had a little crush on my piercing artist. he was cute.

but boy did he make me scream...and not in a good way. yeeowch.

in addition to feeling the pain of the piercing i also heard the sound of the needle going through all of the hard cartlidge in my ear. i would safely mark this my most painful body art thus far. but it's cute so it was worth it. after the piercing there was more shopping on haight street. i scored some classic t-shirts at a thrift store and a great flask with owls on it. i was the happiest girl alive. finally we ended up at a doggy boutique, of course i have to bring my baby home a gift. it's going to be a minute before he'll fit into it but when he does he'll love it.

my day ended relaxed at the hotel with a good pizza and a bottle of coke. just the way i like it.

a man named tom

2011-05-14T02:05:00.000-06:00

thursday. it was my first day in california. i was stoked. but i couldn't have known how great it would be. we started the day off right with a bike ride. 40 mile round trip. lunch at a little place called duarte's in our destination town of pescadero. upon our return we had big plans. horseback riding on the beach. dinner. going to the cowboy surf shop. we had shit to do. well. after the 20 miles to duarte's, big hills, a beer and a shot we weren't pedaling anywhere. after several futile attempts to hitch a ride with another of the bar patrons back to half moon bay the bartender offered to take us at 5 when his shift was over. nevermind that it was noon at this point in the day. a few beers, lots of sourdough bread, and many shots of don julio later it was 5pm and our train left the station. we treated tom to dinner for his kindness. we went to a little chowder house on the ocean. sams chowder house. i had a great steak an dsome asparagus. remember all those big plans we had for our day? drunk in the afternoon and crashing at the hoted by 10 were our reality. just the way i like it.

enjoy the metabolism while you've got it...

2011-05-04T20:19:00.004-06:00

okay, okay, okay. yes, i realize that it's been almost a month since my last post. please don't mistake my absence for anything but being the happiest i've ever been. apparently having unconditional love in your life will do that for ya...thanks Kenai. we've been on all kinds of adventures already. we walk a lot. we get up in the middle of the night to pee a lot. we poop a lot, but only in one certain spot in the yard. we practice sitting a lot. we play fetch a lot. we practice laying down a lot. we hike a lot. we cuddle a lot. we play frisbee a lot. in a nutshell, life here is good for us.

for easter weekend we went to Zion. my dog loves to camp as much as i do. we went biking. we went hiking. we slept in a tent during a thunderstorm. we went shopping. we met lots of new friends, dogs and people alike.

at this moment life was pretty much perfect for me...my pup, a good brew, and the outdoors.

saturday we did a great hike just outside of hilldale utah. yes, that's the polygamy town. the drive through town was creepy, there's no way around that. but it was worth it to get to this great slot canyon hike.

kenai did great on his first "big boy" hike. there were only a few places where the climbs were so tall that i had to lift him up. he seemed happy. i think he liked it.

this was when we got to the part of the hike where the canyon began to slot, the part i was most excited about. but this little guy was all tuckered out...and we still had the whole hike back to the car.

i decided that after a short rest this was probably an ideal place to turn around.

about half way down on the hike out of the canyon kenai found this pine cone while we were taking a water break. he carried it at least half a mile. i figured if he liked it enough to carry it that far i should let him bring it home.

even the drive home was fun and i got a lot of laughs from hanging out with this little guy. i love him. thanks for being the perfect travel partner, kenai.

it'll never be the same

2011-04-19T22:42:00.003-06:00

there he is. the little man i've spent the last three months waiting for. he's mine. last weekend i flew to iowa to pick him up and bring him home.

the next 15 years are going to look pretty much like this for kenai and me. we like it this way.

this weekend was closing weekend at snowbasin. kenai got a ski weekend AND a party weekend. all wrapped into one. he loved every minute of it.

we both partied hard. but i'm the only one who got sunburned. ha.

tonight was his first ride in the bike trailer. and that was after a long hike on the shoreline trail. he loved it. he wasn't scared. not even when i hit big bumps. i'm truly convinced that i have acquired the worlds best dog on the planet. seriously.

in three days we're headed off to zion for a long weekend. kenai's first camping trip! he will love it. i've found that he loves most anything that he gets to do with me. we'll do some biking while we're there too. and it's national parks weekend. we get into zion without and entrance fee. we'll go there too. probably on the bike. i might even eat some of the really good pizza while i enjoy the majestic view of the vermillion cliffs. life is good. stay tuned.

love come knockin'

2011-04-05T09:10:00.005-06:00

here they are. the best band ever. it's a bold statement. but it's real. that's why i said it. i don't take music lightly. it's a pretty big part of my life...okay, a huge part of my life. i watched this you tube video of them saturday night. i had seen it before. i love it. that's why i watched it again. anyway. that night i had perhaps the worlds greatest dream. i went to the weepies house. i don't know how i knew where it was. the magic of dream-land i suppose. i knocked on their door. i was nervous. they didn't know i was coming. what if they told me to leave...it's only a dream brooke. but deb answered the door and invited me in. steve and i talked music, recording, fans, culture, etc. deb and i just had fun. with all 6 of their kids. yeah. in my dream you had six kids, weepies. i'm sorry.

i've had dreams in which i hung out with the weepies before. one time we were in arizona. that one was the best. my bff and matt the electrician were there too. it was like a weepies concert marathon. too good for real life.

well, here's to hoping the weepies play at least some shows local to their home. which is southern california. because we can travel there. and if they do play some summer shows. we hope that they're later than july 4th. because that's when natalie comes back from chili. and it just wouldn't be right to go without her. the weepies are pretty rad. they'll know when we need a show. and they'll play one. i'm sure of it.

and then there's this. which has been my favorite weepies song as of late. even though its actually a deb talan song. that was before the weepies were. i love deb talan. she's an angel. and her voice is amazing. and she likes jaymees bird shirt. she has good taste. and i really will be the gladdest thing in three more days when i pick up my puppy. i.can't.wait.

everything's greener. you're still hard to please.

2011-04-04T09:20:00.007-06:00

here we are. four days away. i'm about to be a mommy. to the world's cutest k-9. i hope he's as excited as i am. i fly out friday morning. on frontier airlines. with one stop in denver. my bff is going with me. i'm one lucky girl. well, except for this unlucky thing...the haights won't be home this weekend. you know what this calls for. sidewalk chalking their driveway in it's entirety. it better not rain! so, i guess i know what i'm doing sunday morning before we head to the airport. larry and susan: i will miss you. 48 hours in iowa just won't be the same. we'll be back in august though. for a week. we better see you then.

this week is busy. which is good. cause i'm chomping at the bit to get to iowa. i want to hold my puppy. and kiss his pink little nose. tonight i'll be hanging with my little red riding hood peeps in SLC. i'm stoked for that. they are good people and great friends. tuesday is "get ready for iowa" day. you know, the usual: laundry, packing, cleaning, etc. wednesday my bff has requested a bff day. we'll do something fun. because that's how we are. thursday is my only evening with an open schedule...but it's the night before we leave for iowa. i'm sure something will quickly fill the time. friday will be here fast. before i know it i'll be hanging with the gav man, drinking country beer, loving Kenai, having lunch with Kathy and Jane, seeing Kendra and Joan, staying up way too late, waking up way too early, laughing till my belly hurts and my eyes water, and drinking coffee at the corner store with all the old guys. life will be good. i probably won't want to leave. maybe i won't. it's hard to say.

all you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war

2011-03-27T22:02:00.007-06:00

sunday was weird. i didn't get drunk enough on saturday. i guess. or maybe i got too drunk. it's a fine line. so sunday morning a drive home from park city turned into a mini road trip/beer run to wyoming. had it not been sunday and the end of the weekend it would most definitely have been a moab day. the kind of moab day where nobody needs to know where i am. nobody but moab. that is.

the trip came to serve all of it's intended purposes. i saw some pretty stuff. enjoyed some sun. got to drive my new car for a relatively long distance. listened to some tunes. got some booze.

this was the scene between the opposing lanes of freeway traffic just outside of evanston. it used to be a camper trailer. not anymore.

and then there was this. for those times when you need moab. but you can't. there's always echo.

it was a pretty spectacular sight. reminded me why i live here. cause i've been wondering lately. but sunday i remembered.

there was also that time i was cruising down the highway at a healthy 80 mph. i came up on a government vehicle from behind. somewhat resembled a cop. i slowed. to avoid a citation. in case it was a cop. but it wasn't. just an escort. to a semi full of "explosives". holy shit.

then there was the moment that i arrived in evanston. i took the usual exit. headed to cowboy joes liquor barn. that's where i always go. but then. i saw something i couldn't resist. not even for cowboy joe's. it was a liquor store inside a farm and ranch store. how perfect. really. i went there just because i could. and because there aren't liquor stores in the farm and ranch stores in utah. god bless wyoming.

i came home with 3 cases of beer. all three are tastes that aren't sold in utah. so. i guess you could say the trip was a success. a complete success.

i will be the gladdest thing under the sun...

2011-03-26T21:55:00.005-06:00

today is saturday. or for my chilean friends, sabado. saturday is my favorite day of the week these days. not because i don't have to go to the office. not because i'd be skiing if my booty weren't broken. and not even because i usually get to sleep in on saturday.

it's become my favorite day because i usually get a picture or two of this blue eyed babe. yes. that makes this the best day of my week.

i mean really. who couldn't fall in love with this little brown nose? i have been in love for quite some time.

the night's gone as we open up our eyes

2011-03-25T16:20:00.004-06:00

it's friday. just another day at the office. the office with a view that is.

who couldn't love this guy? i hate to point this out but he had a stowaway. in one of his several falls a little twig made its way into the band of his goggles and came along for the ride. brian didn't even notice.

and there's broken booty. that's me. yeah, i went backcountry nordic skiing today. sue me. i already pretty much sued myself. i payed in pain. but it was worth it. the lortab will fix me.

yeah. that's right. and don't you forget it.

roll away your stone, i'll roll away mine

2011-03-24T21:29:00.002-06:00

turns out that this is the week to skype the ones you love. first it was nattles in chile on sunday. today was thursday. i got to skype my nephew. the gav man.

this is his "what the hell?" face. it stayed for pretty much the first five minutes of the conversation. he really couldn't figure it out. and i kept laughing at the poor chump.

he eventually caught on. and when he did there were endless kisses to the computer monitor (a.k.a. me).

meet jake. he's my dad's dog. he's three months older than kenai. i'm sure they'll be great friends when we're there next weekend. and by great friends i mean holy terrors. i'll love every minute of it.

i think my little dude got bored. there was a point in time when he started waving at me. a lot.

eventually he stopped giving hints. he ditched me. playing on the coffee table was way more fun. speaking of holy terrors. take a look at grandma's living room. i can't be certain that two pups could outdo one of gavin's jobs here. i guess we'll see.

ahhh. eventually we got him back. all it took was a little bit of "where's your belly?"

i love this kid. and i can't wait to see him in 15 days.

things i've learned from this...

2011-03-24T11:33:00.001-06:00

...the weepies were right, all good things come to an end.

I've got T.B.D. and I'm late for Yoga...

2011-03-21T12:25:00.002-06:00

Yeah, you guessed it. That's my favorite bud, Natalie Allen. IN CHILE! She's tan.

This is how my night went last night. I went to my bff's house to watch "Sister Wives". It was great. We ended up waiting three hours for the damned show to even come on. Then when it finally did we were too busy skyping Nat.
Yeah. That's Nat writing "Alaska" on her watch tan. She wrote Alaska there because we're going next summer. Jaymee, Nat and me. I can't wait. Denali, The Kenai River, fishing, the ocean, glaciers, Sarah Palin...yeah, this trip will be the world's greatest. Can't wait.

This made a good night great. Thanks Nat. Glad we got to see your tan, smiling face. We miss you. Come home soon.

2011-03-20T19:29:00.002-06:00

19 DAYS!!!

There's the cutest face I've ever seen. Time is quickly winding down and in no time I'll be united with Kenai, my furry four-legged love. I can't wait.

Friday night I texted my niece, Kirstin, begging for a new picture of the little bundle of fur. She said I'd be forced to wait until the next day for a new picture. Mealtime got a little messy for him. He may or may not have been covered in moist puppy food. Part of me wishes I could have seen that part too. I can't wait until I get to see all of his crazy messes...but I probably won't be as stoked when that mess includes him using one of my possessions as a teething tool. I know it's going to happen. I've done my best to prepare for it. But I'll still be disappointed. My shoes now currently live in a plastic container in my very inaccessible closet. I hope my shoes are safe, I hope my shoes are safe, I hope my shoes are safe.

Saturday I got the picture that I asked for. Kenai had bath number two. This time he looked like he enjoyed it a bit more. Updated pictures always make me giddy beyond words. In 19 days the long wait will be over. I'll be able to cuddle his fluffy cuteness any time I want. He will finally be mine and live at home with me. The next two and a half weeks can't pass fast enough.

See you soon Kenai.

Happy Birthday Season Kick-Off to my BFF.

2011-03-13T13:38:00.002-06:00

Yep. There were are. At the top of a ski run named "Wedgie". We skied it. No big deal. But that was an hour ago. When I could still ski. Until that fateful moment when I plopped my ass down on a big fat chunk of ice. That sucked. I convulsed in pain for a while on the snow while my people tried to figure out what was wrong with me..."is she crying? did she hurt her knee? is she laughing?" I was hurt alright. And now here I sit in the lodge while they are out there having a blast. I wish I were with them...but my ass hurts too bad. It's okay as long as I don't move. You see, I really have to pee right now but that involves stairs, they are my worst enemy at this moment in my life. It will heal and I'll move like normal again. I hope it's soon. I'm going to have a puppy to keep up with in 26 days.

Aside from hurting my ass...skiing in Idaho is rad. I'm at Pebble Creek today with my BFF, Jaymee and her brother, J.P. Couldn't ask for a better time. There's been a whole lot of laughing today. I needed that. This is the kick-off to the birthday season of my BFF. You see, our beloved Natalie Allen is in Chile. Like the country. Aside from missing her like crazy we can't fathom such a celebration without her. So we'll be celebrating Jaymee's birthday until July. When we can celebrate with Nat here. Sue us...I dare ya.

Never say never...

2011-03-11T21:49:00.003-07:00

Oh hey.

That's me. At a pottery place.

Yeah. I know. You didn't think I had it in me, did ya?

Well, I did.

I pretty much rocked it. And it rocked my world back. It was a little place called Color Me Mine. It's on 25th street in Ogden.

You see, what happens is you walk in and pick out blank pottery. It comes in pretty much any shape you could ever imagine. Pet food and water dishes, gnomes, saki sets, coffee mugs, piggy banks, really everything.

Next, you pick from the gajillion different colors of paint, stencils, and vinyl decals to decorate your chosen work of art.

I'm fairly certain I don't need to tell you this but...of course I was there to make a food and water dish for Kenai. Yeah, they turned out pretty rad. I love them and Kenai will too. He better. These aren't your run-of-the-mill ceramic dog bowls. These are handcrafted by a non-crafty girl for a dog who is very loved. I think he'll get it.

And here's the final prize for those of you who endured to the end...the latest picture of my life's biggest love. Looks like he had his first bath this week. I can't wait to see him, hold him, smell his puppy breath, take him hiking, take him biking, show him Moab, and all of the other endless adventures we'll share.

See you in 28 days Kenai!

"nothing else will do, i've gotta have you..."

2011-02-11T21:34:00.002-07:00

i know i've said before that the weepies have a song to fit every moment of life. even this one. and this is a really big moment, perhaps the biggest in my life so far. my puppy was born today. at 1:24 pm i received this text message:

kirstin: "PUPPIES!!!!"

yeah, i was excited...REALLY excited. i had been in bed for hours trying to fight off the approaching cold virus that i felt coming on. but when i received this news my rest came to an abrupt end. i was out of bed, dressed and ready to hit Petco in no time flat.

i came out of there with lots of puppy gifts and supplies. even some presents that weren't for the puppy but about the puppy.

needless to say i can't wait to bring the little guy home. i can't wait to teach him how to be the best dog ever. i can't wait to hike with him this summer. i can't wait to take him for bike rides in his puppy bike trailer.

i want to live a simple life

2011-02-03T08:37:00.005-07:00

last night was a fun one.

after work i picked up my new bike trailer. yes, i did it. i said i was going to and i did. i bought a trailer to pull behind my bike for my dog to ride in. after picking up my exciting new purchase i dropped a few things at the d.i. which put me just two blocks from petco...of course i had to go in. after all, i had a new coupon for $2 off of any purchase.

yes, i bought a name tag for him. i got him the most expensive one because it was cute...he's spoiled already.

then i was off to my house. i had a new bike trailer to assemble. i've wanted one of these forever. well, not a dog one but a trailer that i could go the the grocery store with. a trailer that i could use to ride my bike into the mountains with camping gear in tow and spend a weekend in the wilderness. now i have one. and i'm excited.

oh boy. this is where things got a little nerve wracking. so many parts. please don't make me read the instructions....

ahhh...now i have ALL of the necessary tools to make this happen. thank you, teton amber ale.

oh, and then there was this. i never was a girl for the boring orange flag. this sticker spiced it up nice and gave it the perfect amount of humor. i'll be proud to claim my trailer when i walk out of the grocery store and this flag is flying.

and for this one my thanks goes out to teresa. thank you for the sticker that turned a once boring and bland orange flag into a flag the others will envy. :-)

once she was put together i had to hook the trailer up to edna. the ensure the perfect fit and that everything worked as it should.

i thought about taking them for a spin around the block. but then i remembered that it was 10 degrees outside, dark, and i had to carry them both upstairs. nah, i think i'll take them for a test drive later.

it's okay. laugh at me. i know you want to. but either way, i'll get to take my dog on my bike rides with me and for that i will endure the ridicule.

see you this spring on the streets of ogden...until then, stay cool.

Away We Go

2011-01-27T19:22:00.004-07:00

It has officially begun. Today I bought my first puppy items. I think I'm on a slippery slope. But these little teething Nylabones and miniature tennis balls were way too cute to resist.

I received word last night that puppy may be here soon. Mommy dog is getting fat. I can't wait for him to arrive. I fear his first 8 weeks of life may be the longest of mine as I wait to meet him and bring him home with me. Anticipation is half the fun of it, I suppose.

Oh, there's one more thing. I might as well tell you now so you don't have to wait three more months to start making fun of me for it. I'm probably going to brush my dogs teeth. The books say you should and I've read plenty of them. So I'm going to do it. Go ahead, laugh. I still refuse to buy him clothes...never say never.

sometimes in life work will teach you a thing or two about life...

2011-01-27T18:59:00.002-07:00

a year ago i was sitting at my desk. answering the phone on a wintry day. i got a call from a salomon consumer. her son's skis were having trouble. i advised her to begin with the salomon retailer where the ski was purchased but somehow we began to talk. i knew right away she was cool. you can tell. we talked about cycling. turns out we both love bikes. we both ride for a local charity every year. i had just ridden my bike across the state of utah. she thinks utah is beautiful. there wasn't any reason that we shouldn't be friends!

with a little curiousity i found her local charity ride on facebook. oh, and there she was too. so i boldly requested her friendship on the social network. all the while hoping the move wasn't too bold. after all, as cool as i knew she was...we didn't know each other. well, there we were...facebook friends. my boss was impressed. and it wasn't long before i realized that teresa really is great. her comments make me laugh and she appreciates my sense of humor.

last week, after a year of facebook friendship, teresa sent me an s.o.s. message on facebook. she had a ski emergency. i was just the girl for the job. i had her call me at the office the next morning and i saved the day. it feels good to be able to say that. :-) i felt like i'd gotten a new pair of skis that day. i got to talk to my friend teresa. we enjoyed the opportunity to chat in real life. she's a dog person and i shared with her my plans to add a puppy to my life. she offered great advice.

the next day she emailed me to confirm they had in fact received the replacement ski and how thankful she was that i could help them. also, she included a tracking number for a package she had sent me. A PACKAGE!!! i love surprises. i couldn't even have prepared myself for how much i would love this one.

a few days later there it was. in the mail room. a little brown envelope addressed to me. i looked at the return address to be sure it was the package i was expecting from teresa...THE WEEPIES! i didn't order anything from the weepies, i shopped last week but i did NOT buy. so i took the envelope to my desk and matched the tracking number on the package with the one in teresa's email. yes. she sent me a weepies t-shirt and a sticker. most certainly ranking in the top 3 most thoughtful gifts i've ever received.

all i can say now is that someday teresa and i have to meet in person. have a glass of wine (or a cold beer). go for a bike ride. do all the stuff cool people would do when they hang out.

this whole experience taught (or reminded) me a couple of things about life:

1. i am really good at my job and sometimes i'm a little too hard on myself about that one.

2. there are some really rad people in the world and i am lucky enough to somehow be connected with the greatest ones.

thanks teresa. for the shirt and sticker. for the friendship. and for the reminder.

Thanks G-ma Dawn!

2011-01-21T15:16:00.002-07:00

Puppy got his first present today...nevermind that he's not even born yet, the world loves him already. Why wouldn't they? G-ma Dawn won this perfect little pooch gift last night for her new grand-dog. I was giddy when we met for lunch today and she gave it to me. It's perfect. Oh and the bonus...the coupon attached to the bow is good for three free days or nights at Abby's Dog House puppy daycare. It's just a few blocks from my office. Meant to be if you ask me. Dawn, thanks for always knowing the perfect thing to brighten a day. Puppy will love you before he ever even meets you.

Don't laugh...

2011-01-20T11:09:00.003-07:00

but I'm getting one of these for my new puppy to ride in:

But why wouldn't I? Look how happy that guy pedaling is. I want to be that happy adventuring with my new pooch. I'll probably get a cooler flag though. Safety first.

Puppy and I will do some light bicycle touring this summer. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on our adventures. His first trip will of course be to Moab. I'm thinking a week or two after I bring him home. A trip to Moab will ensure that he knows I'm the coolest mommy ever.

Stay tuned...

i'm broke like a bad joke

2011-01-17T08:35:00.002-07:00

ha. not really. those are words to a song. but i put them there to mess with people. you know which ones.

but really. the days i've been waiting for may have arrived. it's still a little too soon to be certain but a girl can hope, right? i feel good again. life feels good again. there's some joy and excitement in the everyday. i like it. i hope it stays.

what a morning...

2011-01-14T09:50:00.002-07:00

it started out like this:
gracie called me at 6:25 am. "yeah, i'd love to pick you up at the train station this morning." a few moments later it occured to me that i should warm up the car while i was getting ready so it would be warm when i picked her up. i took my jeep key off of the carabiner that holds my collection of keys, walked out of my apartment, shut the door behind me...yeah, that was the part that was a mistake. the door handle was locked. my keys (except for my jeep key) were inside on my kitchen counter, right next to my cell phone. oh boy. well, at least i have the key to my jeep. and gracie's train will be here in 20 minutes. i guess it makes sense to drive down to the station and sit in my warm car to wait for her.

as i sat there and listened to the weepies i giggled. i was in sweatpants, my puffy down jacket and shoes. no socks no shirt no bra...you get the picture. i got gracie and we both laughed together at my lack of clothing and the situation at hand. at the office i went in to use the phone. i called my landlord. he met me at his office. i got a spare key. i went home. i showered. i took the extra key back. and now. i'm at work...but not without a few real good laughs!

happy friday.

Preparing For Motherhood...

2011-01-13T15:54:00.005-07:00

Nevermind that just 4 posts ago I declared that I wasn't ready for a dog. I'm going to be a mommy. That's my favorite thing to say to people. It has summoned repsonses such as, "Oh my god, I almost threw up!"

The pup in this picture is my dad's from an earlier litter. My little guy will be born in about 4 weeks and I'll pick him up in April. 98 days...but who's counting. Nevermind that I've already read two books about training and raising puppies, spent hours in pet stores, will be attending my first puppy orientation class on Saturday, and have constructed an extensive spreadsheet mapping my costs and "must-do's" before my little guy comes home to live with me. I'll be ready.
Oh, and one more thing. If you think I shouldn't get a dog you should probably keep that to yourself. Just the idea of the little guy and preparation has boosted my world in unimaginable ways and that alone makes this whole adventure worth it.

Stay cool.

how do you even get mad at this?

2011-01-13T11:12:00.002-07:00

sunday morning this happened. ha! when i saw it i laughed and played in it with him for a few minutes before cleaning it up...probably another reason i shouldn't be a parent: i encourage behavior like this!

i'm glad i was a part of this...

2011-01-09T08:34:00.003-07:00

talk about some of the cutest kids and the funniest family. last night gavin and i hung out with the thompsons. so. much. fun. gavin had his first kiss. i'm glad i was around for that. i miss so many things but the first kiss was one i am so honored to have been here for. ha. really though. it was the cutest thing i've ever seen. we all laughed really hard. till our bellys hurt. typical. just another evening with one of my favorite iowa families.

It's your birthday and we're gonna party...

2011-01-08T07:47:00.001-07:00

This was the very first time we met.

Then six months later we partied again.

After that, I had to wait an entire year to see him again. But when I did we got down in the beer aisle at Hy Vee. Good times.

I was lucky enough to see him again three weeks later. We partied then too.

And, here I am again. Another three weeks later. Last-minute, unexpected. I flew from Utah to Iowa for the weekend to come to his second birthday party. It was worth every penny spent. You see, I love this little dude.

And yes, I am afraid he'll forget who I am. That is why I spent this morning downloading Skype on my mom's computer. So he can see me when I'm talking to him. So he knows it's me. He won't forget me. I'm the coolest auntie in all the world!

this time you've gotta make up your mind that this life's worth living

2011-01-07T20:49:00.004-07:00

well, we're seven days into 2011. that's about as exciting as it gets right now...

i guess that's not entirely true. i've already seen yogi bear in 3d for a second time.

i bought joshua radin's new album, "The Rock and The Tide". it was worth every penny. there's a chance he's the next best thing to the weepies. so far, my favorite song on the album is "We Are Only Getting Better". i love the lyrics. fitting for my life right now.

"we are only getting better. where we were that doesn't matter. lately, everything is hazy but i know what's true. lately everyone seems crazy but i believe in you. sun shines in the eyes of those who know how to leave the past behind. this time you've got to make up your mind this life you're living. this time you've got to make up your mind this life's worth living."

i'll say. we're going to his concert on march 2nd at club sound. you'll go too if you know what's good for you...unless you're busy in Chile, then you're excused.

2011 has given me cause for reflection. i say that as if i need a reason. ha. anyway. i've been doing a lot of thinking. there are a few things i really want in life. some of them i'm not quite ready for. like a dog. i REALLY want a dog. alas, i also want an adventurous job and the two don't really compliment each other. so i'll keep waiting on my four legged friend and hope for a job fighting fires this summer for the forest service. or maybe i'll get a random job offer in boulder, colorado. who knows.

i went to kranky franks with my two best buds last night. yeah, you heard me. i drove 86.72 miles (one-way) for a frank. not just any frank, these are the best weiners in the west...without question.

yeah, that's me kissing a weiner. sue me. and mr. dangerfield...well, let me tell ya...he and mrs. dangerfield are some of the world's greatest, truly. i hope they know that we think the world of them. oh, and name me a restaurant that will stay open waiting for you to arrive...that's vip. for reals.

oh. then there's today. that day when i went into work and it was like any other normal day. until 8am when i curiously looked at the prices of flights to cedar rapids, iowa. um, they haven't raised a cent since last week. still affordable for a kid like me. and my little dude is turning two tomorrow.

this little dude (in case you were confused). so i left the office at noon. fed the furry rat. packed some stuff. rented a movie. and caught a 4pm flight outta slc. now i'm sitting in the chicago o'hare airport writing a blog that i don't dare post until tomorrow. you see, casey has no idea i'm coming for gavin's birthday. this is gonna be so good.

when life gets shitty just do something crazy. like buy a plane ticket and fly somewhere for the weekend. i did. and it's getting better already.

stay cool.

can't steal happiness

2011-01-06T01:43:00.001-07:00

i don't know where to begin here. it probably doesn't matter what i say anyway. i could never convey what happened in those concert halls and how incredible it was. really. but i'll go ahead and write about it, it's my civil duty to society.

it finally happened. october 23rd in the year two thousand ten FINALLY arrived. i really thought it never would. seeing the weepies in real life seemed way too good to be true. it was real and it happened. it happened just like this:

we rolled into the dark alley behind the state room in salt lake city less than an hour before the doors opened. after natalie finally got her clothes changed in the back of the car and jaymee and i finished our mt dew we walked down the dark alley to the concert venue. when we rounded the corner to see the tour bus of the weepies we were so overcome with excitement that all three of us peed our pants...okay, we didn't really but we could have. we spent the next 45 minutes waiting quietly and patiently for the doors to open...okay, that didn't happen either. we were loud and giddy and shared our excitement with everyone around us. most likely, that last shot of tequila i had did not help the silliness either. it was fun and we made friends. that's really all that matters.

then the doors opened. giddy doesn't even describe it anymore. we were out of control. we were about to see the weepies. real, live, and in-person! we bought t-shirts and bags and stickers. i really wanted that scarf. it was so cute. but i'm not a scarf girl. then we had more time to wait. but this time we waited by the stage. front and center. we would be close enough to touch the weepies (not that we would because that would be creepy). close enough that they could accidentally spit on us while singing. the excitment mounted to uncontainable levels.

then it happened. the opening act, joe pug, finished. the stage hands got everything ready. it was time. the weepies took the stage. i screamed louder than i ever have before. and i meant it. i was that excited. then mr. weepie bent down to put his drink on the floor...i toasted him with my beer. he had whiskey. yum. then they played their music. the first song melted my heart. by the second song i was so happy, so peacful, so content that i never wanted it to end. every song seemed like it was only 20 seconds long. i was completely in love with everything. i had never been happier at any other moment in my life. really.

i think this was approximately when it happened. when braymee allen collectively decided that a sunday road trip to denver was in order to see the weepies the following night. it only made sense. we were in love. nothing could stop us. when the salt lake city concert ended we left giddy. i almost forgot to pay my bar tab and get my debit card back. planning the denver trip was almost more important...but then i needed it for denver. as we excitedly planned our denver trip on the walk to the car through the same dark alley who did we run into except the WEEPIES! steve and deb were standing outside their tour bus. and they talked to us! to braymee allen. we got a picture with them. it was great. an epic moment. we told them we'd see them in denver. i think they just thought i was drunk. no. we were really going to denver.

we bought our tickets online immediately. got a couple hours of shut eye. and departed ogden at precisely 8am sunday morning. we drove for a short six hours to denver. it was really cold in wyoming. but that didn't matter to us. we were going to see the weepies. we showed up in denver around 3:30pm. denver was stoked to see us. but not as stoked as we were to see the weepies...again. we changed our clothes in a scary 7-eleven. then it was downtown for dinner. time could not pass fast enough. there was only the most minor of mishaps on the trip. there was that time when we finished dinner and when we went back to the parking garage to get the car...the parking garage was locked. yikes. don't worry, we worked it out...but not before we found this little gem. god love denver.

and then there we were. waiting outside the gothic theater on broadway. i may or may not have had some cocktails...again. this time no tequila. we all were just as excited as the night before. maybe more. this time we knew just how good it was going to be. but nothing could have prepared even us to have our world rocked by the weepies again. i must give a shout out to matt the electrician who opened up for the weepies. a-mazing! thank you matt.

then it happened. perhaps even better the second time. the weepies took the stage. they played "please speak well of me". there's something about that song being played live that completely melts my heart. heavenly. then they played the next song. after song number two i yelled with all the excitement in the world, "i love you weepies!" that was when things got REAL exciting. they knew it was us. they had just realized that braymee allen did, in fact, come to denver and the look on steve's face was worth every second of the long drive. when he saw us he mouthed, "NO WAY!" jaymee replied, "yes way." then he told the audience that they had met us in SLC and to offer us an applause for making it all the way to denver. i love you steve tannen!

after the show we figured we'd meet them out back to gift steve the whiskey we had promised him in salt lake. they knew the drill. steve came out the back door of that theater with open arms and nearly ran to us. it was great. he hugged all three of us. we talked about the crazy drive, the awesome concert, the goodness of life. meanwhile, the 15 fans behind us got a little itchy cause we were getting all of the attention...sometimes in life the weepies want to be friends with braymee allen. the rest of the world will just have to deal with that. after steve very sincerely inquired as to where we were sleeping we bid each other farewell with one last hug...deb had to go feed that darned baby.

then there we were, driving back to utah in the middle of the night. i had to work monday morning. lame, i know. i woke up about 2:30 am to the worst blizzard ever...and i've driven through a shit ton of wyoming blizzards. seriously. i was so nervous for nat, the driver. i couldn't yet offer help, i was still sobering up. and our dear jaymee was asleep in the back seat. nat rallied through it like a champ. i'm proud of you nat. at our next gas stop, just before we ran out, i took over the wheel. it sucked. when we began to see cars off of the road and semi's with chains on their tires i realized that it wasn't worth the risk of the hurry to get back to work in time. even though if i'd have died after seeing the weepies two nights in a row i really wouldn't have been lacking anything. in fact, i feel like the rest of my life is going to be really disappointing now. nothing will live up to the weepies, nothing.

...it's kind of strange how we change orbit in our lives

2010-12-27T19:32:00.004-07:00

well, here we are. at the end of 2010. i guess it's time to think about 2011. oh, i've been thinking about it alright. hoping it brings a little more goodness than 2010...that won't be hard. while i'm not terribly motivated there are a couple of things that i will accomplish in 2011.

-i'll be debt free

-i'll go to another weepies concert

-i'll get my second tattoo

-i'll learn to play the guitar

-i'll hike angel's landing with my BFF

i know, i know...dream big brenda. i told you i wasn't motivated. honestly i should probably make it a goal to live through another year.

stay cool and love 2011

Truly One Hell of a Guy

2010-12-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

Here I am. On flight 7619 from Cedar Rapids, Iowa to Denver, Colorado. It was a bit of a whirlwind, 48-hour trip but one that I wouldn’t have missed for anything.

Tuesday night as I watched Christmas movies Kendra called me. Kendra is my best friend from high school. The one that still calls just to say hi. The who when we spend time together, even if years have passed in between, we can still pick up right where we left off like it was yesterday. Kendra is the one who will always be there. To love Kendra is to love her whole family. They are all very close, loving, and riotously funny. Seriously, don’t spend an evening with them unless you’re prepared to be laughed to tears and leave with a belly that is sore from laughter. It’s a guarantee. Since I’ve moved far away from the small rural community where I grew up there hasn’t been a visit that I can remember when I didn’t spend an evening with the Thompsons. Joan and Paul are always excited to hear my stories of adventure and patiently sit through my (often lengthy) show-and-tell slideshows. That alone qualifies them as saints!

A few years ago I got a call from Kendra that Paul had been diagnosed with Lymphoma. The first year after the diagnosis was a good one for Paul. He kicked butt and stayed healthy. This year was different. Paul got sick. Eventually the cancer took over. But even until the very end Paul said (and knew) that he would “be okay.” Monday I received word that Paul was admitted to intensive care in Iowa City. I sent Kendra a message to let her know she was in my thoughts and to give him a squeeze from me. I needed him to know that he had made a difference in my life. That I loved him. Tuesday evening Kendra called me with the news that Paul had left us. That he was no longer in pain and now with loved ones who had gone on before and were waiting for him on the other side. Kendra also said (multiple times in that short conversation) “Brooke, he really thought the world of you.” Even typing that I fill with emotion. To know such a great man who has impacted my life and inspired a belief in myself could think so much of a kid like me.

Wednesday morning, as soon as I was awake enough for my brain to function, I heard Kendra’s voice say, “Brooke, he really thought the world of you.” I also recalled several acts of kindness shown to me by Joan and Paul in my own times of need and grief. It was immediately without question that I was to be there for the services to honor Paul’s life. I called Kendra that morning, she told me when the services would be, and I made my own arrangements to get back to Iowa for the weekend. I wanted to be there for my friend, her family, and to honor the memory of Paul.

Paul was the kind of guy who rooted for the underdog. Take me for example. Paul saw something in me that he believed in. He always reminded me of that. Including the last evening we spent together over Thanksgiving. He reminded me that there was something bigger out there for me. I trusted him. His words in that conversation have repeated themselves to me many times in the two weeks that have passed since then. I made a life decision based on the advice he offered that night. Paul was a man of conviction. A man who believed. He believed in people. He believed in God. I’m honored that the universe put me in the right place to see Paul one more time, just two short weeks before his passing. An impromptu trip to Iowa through two blizzards, I know now, was so that I could tell him goodbye. Though when I was telling him goodbye I didn’t truly believe it was for the last time. I’m glad now that when I hugged him good bye I held him for a few extra seconds that time. I’m glad now that Joan got the camera out and took pictures of Kendra, Paul and I on the couch together even though Kendra and I made so much fun of her for it. I’m glad little Briar came two months early so that Paul could spend that precious time with him. Paul was the same as a dad to me and he loved me like I was one of his own girls. I am honored to be loved by the Thompsons.

Paul, I hope that you can see from wherever you are that you left quite the legacy. I know I’m not the only kid whose life you have touched. I know I’m not the only kid who believed in myself because you believed so much in me. The belief in myself that you gave to me is why I turned out. It’s why I’ve made it. Because you believed in me and you never let me forget that. Thank you for that gift. Thank you for leaving a legacy of love.

At the request of my BFF...

2010-12-16T10:30:00.009-07:00

Dear Jaymee,

I am updating my blog so that you aren't forced to talk to me to find out how I'm doing...that was a really funny text message by the way. Oh and before I begin, I'd like to say that I have three unpublished drafts of blog posts that I've written in the last 2 months but haven't posted. Not that three blogs in two months would be acceptable anyway...but I'm saying I wrote them and they're there.

Where have I been??? Last time I wrote was my trip to Jackson Hole. That was GREAT. I had so much fun. I really want to live there. You'd have to come visit a lot though.

After Jackson Hole we went to our first ever Weepies concert. That night changed my life forever. I mean forever. I'm glad I don't have to try to explain to you the epic contentedness one experiences during a Weepies concert. You were there...you know. I'm also glad that I don't have to explain to you that a Weepies concert isn't just a Weepies concert. It's an entire experience. One that every person should have at least once in their lives. Really. Oh yeah, remember when we met the Weepies in a dark alley. Greatest moment of my entire life. That one will be hard to top.

After our first Weepies concert we went to our second Weepies concert. That was so awesome. Oh, Denver is really cool. I wouldn't mind taking Steve Tannen a bottle of Jack Daniels every Sunday night in Denver either. Just sayin'. Remember when he gave us a shout out in the middle of their concert. How about Matt the Electrician from Texas? College is a waste of time, huh Matt? Then there was the time the Weepies wanted to be our friends in Denver. Steve hugged us and Deb had to feed that darned baby. Man, those were some good times. Seriously the greatest moments of my entire life. Too bad we couldn't make it to the Iowa City concert. That's okay though...we got 'em good on that one.

I had a dream a few nights ago that we chilled out with the Weepies. It was cool. Too bad it wasn't real. I'm glad I finally had a turn to dream that, I'd been jealous ever since you dreamt that we hung out with Deb, Steve, Meg Toohey, Franky, and Matt the Electrician. Man, that would have been EPIC! Maybe someday...dream big Brenda.

I went to Iowa over Thanksgiving. You know, some stuff happened. I had to go. I hung out with some laid-back country folk. My nephew has grown a lot since I saw him a year ago. Boy is he cute.

Casey put him up for sale on Facebook today. I had to get on her case about that...she knows I have first dibs on him.

I had square pizza. I wish I could box that shit up and bring some home. I ate a lot of Sterzings potato chips and only one tenderloin the whole time I was there. Shocking, I know. I got to see your favorite Iowa family, the Thompsons. I showed Joan a lot of pictures but she wasn't as impressed as that time we showed her the pictures from the Angel's Landing hike. Man, we really had her going that time. I got to meet Kendra's baby, Briar, for the first time. He is SO cute! Remember the only bar in Winfield? I had some drinks there while I was in town. Talk about fun. How can you not fully enjoy a bar experience that begins with Mr. Seigel greeting you inside the bar with his classic, "If it ain't Pretty Little Brooke..." As long as I live, that will never get old.

Two weeks ago Brandon came to town for the weekend...you already knew that. Thanks for not getting mad that I cancelled BFF Christmas Movie Sleepover at the last minute. I'm glad we still got to see 127 Hours. I was proud of you for being able to watch the part where he actually broke and cut his own arm off. You are brave. I kept my eyes closed the whole time and squirmed in my seat. At least I didn't lose my appetite. I went to see the movie again a couple days ago. My only goal was to keep my eyes open for the whole movie this time. I did. I didn't eat for a day and a half afterward...but I saw every single minute of that movie.

Last Saturday I took Maxine her Christmas gifts. I got her a pair of warm winter boots and a down jacket. I always worry about her staying warm when she walks and takes the bus all over creation. Hers were the first Christmas gifts I've given out this year. She was so excited. I could hear her walking around her house in those boots all afternoon. It made me happy.

Thanks for giving me a ride to the airport today. I'll meet you at my house in three hours...that's 12:45pm to the layman. I just talked to a ski shop in Iowa (I know that sounds like a joke but it's not so stop laughing). The guy I talked to said it's really warm there today. 17 degrees. "Warm?" I questioned. He said 17 degrees feels warm compared to the sub zero temperatures they've had all week...I don't think I packed appropriately. Oh man.

Well, that pretty much sums up the last couple of months for me. I'm glad I found time to write you this letter. Now you don't actually have to talk to me. I'm glad I could spare us that experience. :-) I guess I'll see you Sunday night at 8:30 when you and Nattles and Han pick me up from the airport. I hope Salt Lake City is ready for us. Those poor people are all going to wish they had those light-up reindeer bolted to the ground. Hahahahaha. That's another thing in life that will NEVER get old. It's going to be pretty funny when we're 65 years old and still running through people yards with mating light-up reindeer. I can't wait. Gosh, Nattles and Han probably won't even be getting the senior citizen discount yet when we're 65. I can't wait for Braymee McAllen to paint the town again. It's been way too long. See you guys Sunday.

This is Satin Bunny signing off...

i'm goin' to jackson...

2010-10-22T16:08:00.002-06:00

over dinner in ohio nearly two months ago, john and cammy invited me to join them for part of their october trip to jackson, wyoming. boy was i honored. this was just before we adopted each other. they are my newest aunt and uncle. funny thing is, they were certain i would find some reason to bail. i guess this was before we'd spent enough time together for them to know me. i was going to be there and i was stoked.

october 16th rolled around. i took my loved ones to the salt lake airport, stopped at home to shower and load my things, and i was off. goin' to jackson, as johnny cash would say. well, there was one small delay: by the time i was heading out of town it was 10:30 am and I was starving. i reasoned that i would make a quick stop at subway before heading up the canyon. i walked out of subway with my food in hand, and a gallon of coke for the drive, of course. as i reached in my pocket for my keys, they weren't there. i audibly said, "this is not good." i then peeked in the window of my jeep and saw my beloved keys dangling from the ignition. damn it. there was my phone sitting on the center console, gps telling me where to go. damn it. so i hooofed it a few blocks to jonna's house and she helped me get things straightened out. at 11:30 I was finally on my way.

i met up with john and cammy at the snake river brewing company. we drank some real good beer while watching the hawkeyes slime michigan (my apologies to the neighbor of john and cammy who is a big michigan fan). we then made our way to teton village where we were staying at the four seasons. it was a little better than the super 8, but no big deal really. IT WAS SO AWESOME! we hot tubbed, watched some tv, drank more good beer and ate some good food. i love laughing cow.

sunday was great. we hiked around part of jenny lake. i fell in. that was great too. provided some good laughs and quite the jovial spirit for the group. it was particularly funny that almost as if queued john had said, "if you fall in i'm gonna laugh my ass off." finishing the sentence at the exact moment that i fell in. life sure can be funny sometimes. and funnier still that after the incident cammy did what any good person would do and stood on the dock 50 feet away taking pictures with both of our cameras. thank you cammy for not allowing that moment to pass by uncaptured. after hiking we cleaned ourselves up for a night on the town that began at the million dollar cowboy bar and then we met up with abigail and howie at the wort for dinner and yep, you guessed it, more drinks. then, there we were, minding our own business. driving out to the village. when we nearly hit an elk standing on the side of the road. i somehow missed the obvious animal in the middle of our path (i'll blame it on the dark) so cammy turned around and drove back. as she turned around i saw what seemed like a million little eyeballs staring at us in the meadow. "no way! there are a bunch of them standing in the meadow on the side of the road!" i yelled that, i'm sure. so cammy pointed the car at the meadow and shined her brights and sure enough...we saw a shitload of elk! it was SO cool.

monday was the dreaded, last day. we got up early. drove through the tetons. on to yellowstone. saw some more elk...but not a shitload. we saw old faithful. hiked to inspiration point. not to be confused with the inspiration point that we had hiked to the day before in the tetons. turns out there are a lot of inspiration points around here. it's easy to see why. i was inspired to say the least. after seeing old faithful blow his top one more time we headed to the only food joint open up there this time of year and got some beer and food. then it was the drive back to teton village. i napped most of the way. until we had to stop and get ice for cammy's bad knee. things got pretty exciting after that. then we saw a bear on the side of the road. well, john saw it first. i was looking in the wrong direction. then i got out of the car to get a closer look...with no shoes on. it seemed like a good idea, or maybe i was just overcome with excitement because we'd been looking for this all day. and i'm really glad we met that lady from steamboat springs. she was cute as a button, and funny. she knew how to keep those old ladies from alabama in line. when we got back to the village there was hot tub time, cocktails, beer, even a shot at the hotel bar. Then we met up with jacksons best at pica's. that was loads of fun. we pretty much planned the blueprint of my life out that night over some margaritas and dos equis. thanks guys. my last night in the princess bed with cable tv. i wanted to savor every minute. i bet that bed misses me as much as i miss it. i am certain.

tuesday morning i rose bright and early to get back to the office at noon. thank you john for getting my car so early in the morning. i forgot to tip you! check's in the mail. the drive home was beautiful. is it sick that i love driving so much? i think it makes a difference that i'm usually driving in some of the worlds most beautiful places. i started out well before the sun came up. so i had some quiet driving in the dark, watched the sun rise, and then started seeing some awesome wildlife. first there was a moose and her calf in a stream. then, about 20 miles down the road on a sun drenched hillside this beautiful bull was watching the world pass by. made my day. a moose was the only wildlife we had sought but not found while i was in jackson. i hoped john and cammy would have a moose sighting too. i wanted their trip to be as complete as mine.

i read somewhere...

2010-10-22T12:16:00.006-06:00

that it's not as important to be strong as it is to feel strong.

it was a saturday in mid-october and there i was driving to jackson, wyoming. i had no idea what was in store for me. no idea just how good my life would be for three days. no idea what i would get back while i was in jackson.

2010 has seemed like a series of events gone bad. almost from its beginning. slowly i felt as though i began to break. perhaps i was the only one trying for good, i doubt it...but perhaps. that didn't make sense. eventually i quit trying so hard. quit hoping. i didn't feel passionate about life anymore. i was no longer stoked for the limitless future ahead of me. i felt like the me i knew was lost. after nearly a year without feeling like myself i wondered if i had been lost forever. the person i had worked so hard to become had just slipped away. jackson said this wasn't so.

in jackson i saw beauty that can't be matched. i saw things that are not only seen with the eyes but felt with the heart. things that move your soul. even a lost soul. i felt the majesty of the tetons. i was moved by the beauty of fresh snow on teton peak and the stillness of jenny lake. nature gave me a magic that i can't describe. nature brought the brooke i've been searching for back to life.

for three days i lived. i lived free and happy. for three days i planned for my future. i dreamed again. i felt joy and excitement. for three days i found the part of me that i feared had been permanently lost. it's there. and when this crazy life is sorted out, it will still be there under all of the disappointments of 2010, ready to live again.

so, to uncle john and aunt cammy...thank you for jackson.

2010-10-14T07:50:00.003-06:00

this may be a little too personal for a blog, but it's my blog and this is my life, sue me. i feel broken. i don't know what to do. i'm a little scared, but mostly i feel defeated. i don't want sympathy, i want to feel normal. i don't like this. i feel as though my biggest fears are becoming reality. i feel like perhaps this is all a waste of time. those are my measly thoughts on a thursday morning.

try to make your heart fit like a glove, what it needs is love love love

2010-10-13T12:19:00.003-06:00

those are words to a song. a song that is on the movie Ramona & Beezus. said movie was great, moving, cute, all the things you want in a movie about ramona quimby...my childhood hero. i digress, this post is nothing about ramona quimby, movies, or even my childhood. this post is about love. like the for real kind of love. the permanent, no-matter-what kind. for so many reasons this has been the subject of my thoughts for the past couple of weeks.

november 17th is just around the corner. barely more than a month away. i. miss. kara. like crazy. anyone who ever knew her does. that's a given. she was a good person. a really good person. i think the heart learns something about love when someone so dear is lost. i know mine did. i think about kara every day but this time of year her memory and love are felt with even more strength.

there's so much more.

loved ones arrived in utah today. they'll be in town for a few days. couldn't have been more timely. this may be a lifesaver, and i'm not talking about the hard fruit-flavored candy with a hole in the middle. i guess things happen the way they should.

there's even more but some things must remain sacred. i'm off to feed the cat...

I can't believe I didn't write about this...

2010-10-06T11:24:00.003-06:00

I WENT TO A BEN LEE CONCERT!!!

On September 17th, 13 days after my actual birthday, we celebrated again...you're shocked, I know. My friends wore party hats to the Ben Lee/Fun concert. That made me happy. And I needed help with that, it was a bad day at the office.
This is the only picture I got of Fun (formerly The Format). Not sure who the nerd with their hand in my picture is...

The birthday cake for that particular party. Fitting for the day. Thanks Jaymee.

One of my favorite little kiddos. Liza celebrating my birthday with me.

everything's greener and you're still hard to please

2010-09-08T11:55:00.003-06:00

i feel lazy. something needs to be done in this life of mine. meanwhile, i just sit here and watch the time pass. i'm not sure what to do. there's a chance i may be at a crossroad. like the kind of crossroad where fifteen different paths converge and you have no clue which of the fifteen paths is the one that you should choose. yeah, that kind. i like knowing there are so many options. the possibility of so much adventure. and i get to choose. i like that part too. but then there's that other part. the part where i have to take action. do something. get off of my ass. leave what's easy and comfortable for something new. you know, take one of the fifteen paths that lays before me yet i have never seen before.

there's a chance i may be getting closer to figuring out what i want to do with the rest of my life. well, attempting to figure it out anyway. there are never any guarantees. i know i don't want to work in an office. i don't like coorporate america. i hate talking on the phone. i'm turning a bit bitter toward the service industry. basically i'm falling into dislike with most of the things i do on a daily basis. i must state the obvious fact that this is not good. thank you for allowing me that. what is good is that there is a world of endless possibilites out there for me to explore.

and in the meantime i'll get some practice doing things i'm not so good at doing. like being patient. leaving my options open. doing new things, scary things. taking the first step when what follows might be unknown or out of my control. god, i'm such a virgo. at least every adventure will be perfectly planned and well organized. stay tuned...

in your dreams you find out...

2010-09-08T11:39:00.005-06:00

here is sit. on an airplane. for the last two hours trying to write about my life's most epic weekend. it doesn't matter what i write. or how i write it. you won't get it. unless you were there. so suffice it to say that i loved spending time with my people. my little heart needed that. i drank a lot of alcohol. my liver needed that. i spent time on the boat and in the sun. my tan needed that.

there was loud laughter at the next dinner table in a sushi restaurant. loud music a the house next door. there were birthday countdowns. hand stand contests. corn hole. a prostetic leg mishap. chair dancing. cheese balls. tiaras. a sash. sleeping in. loud laughter at our own table. there were birthday girls in trouble. three virgos saving the world. bloody marys for breakfast. there was carl, god love that guy! there were lasers and kentucky state police. there may have been a hangover or two. there was most definitely a birthday dinner of perfection.

most of all there was love, laughter and time together. with people who love me. and i love them back. 27's gonna be a great year.

please speak well of me

2010-09-01T08:27:00.002-06:00

i found out yesterday that my grandmother passed away. i felt weird. when my grandma brookhiser passed away two years ago i was sad. i cried. i rushed to iowa. i missed her. yesterday when i got the call i felt sad. but mostly i felt weird. like i should be sadder. like i should "do" something. i didn't know what to do.

i liked going to grandma smith's on christmas eve when i was little. my favorite part was the singing, walking rudolph the red nosed reindeer with the light up nose. i liked spending the day at her house when i had the chicken pox. i liked visiting her and reading her endless stacks of the national enquirer and star. this was before i knew they were fiction. i liked hearing really funny stories about her boys when they were young. grandma smith knew how to tell a story. i liked receiving a full size candy bar when i trick-or-treated at her house.

Grandma Smith,
Thank you for being my grandmother. For teaching me the valuable lesson of humor. And thank you for the sense of humor that I like to think I inherited from you. Thanks for all the Christmas Eve dinners, for telling all the funny stories, and for taking care of me when I had the chicken pox.
Sincerely,
Brooke

words to live by...

2010-08-23T12:43:00.003-06:00

made for sunny days -by: the weepies

i went to the market, though it was threatening rain. i was late to that station, swore i'd miss that train. and the streets filled with umbrellas and we all looked the same. but i'm the one whose waiting till the sun comes out again.

i was made for sunny days. i made do with grey, but i didn't stay. i was made for sunny days, and i was made for you.

found the look you gave me when we were still in bloom. when i thought that you might save me from the dark side of the moon. instead we both went walking to the shadows and the gloom. and we never stopped talking you still light up the room.

i was made for sunny days. i made do with grey but i didn't stay. i was made for sunny days and i was made for you.

the nights are longer. you make me stronger and the late light lingers on the grass and nights are dark but then they pass and they don't seem so deep. I'm still loseing sleep but i don't mind. no, i don't mind.

i got you a winter jacket that he wears around and we chase him to the springtime and the sleeves drag on the ground. and every hour we're working and working day are bound and every day is sunday cause the sun comes down bouncing down.

i was made for sunny days. i made do with grey but i didn't stay. i was made for sunny days and i was made for you.

it was a really great "almost week"

2010-08-23T11:17:00.003-06:00

brandon came to visit this week. i met brandon in moab. in the month of may. he came to visit once in july. that time was fun. but this one was even better. his plan was to stay for two days. he stayed for five. we had fun every single day. dave matthews concert. ogden's finest bars. karaoke. rodeo. the davis county fair. sleeping in. big breakfasts. watching movies...er, falling asleep to movies. hours at the climbing gym. hot wings. lots of biking. one perfectly fabulous weekend.

he's only been gone a day. i miss him already. i genuinely miss his company. the fun we had together. i like him. a lot.

5 states, 4 national parks, 3 days, 2 fugitives, 1 awesome weekend (take 1)

2010-08-11T15:11:00.011-06:00

so there we were. all of us together. on thursday night. the eve of our epic road trip. i screamed with excitement "we're all here" repeatedly. we went grocery shopping. packed the cooler with soda's and candy. and eventually got a bit of shut eye.

our alarms rang at 4:14am. i woke everyone else up and we were getting in the car just as my watch said 5:00am. that was when we wanted to leave. already a perfect beginning.
we were on the road. the stops were excessive to say the least. i had a tiny bladder issue. i woke up feeling sickly and dehydrated so with my breakfast i consumed almost an entire 32 oz. nalgene of water. good for the body. but not good for travel time. by the time we hit wyoming. only an hour from home. i was already stopping for time number one. several times in between i stopped. nobody else had to use the restroom. just me. and my pea-sized bladder.

well. eventually we made it to lunch time. and two thirds of the way across wyoming. we were quite impressed with the centerpieces at this wyoming arby's.
annaleesa was having fun. in the beginning she didn't show it much but there were occasions when joy and giddiness would bust through her somber exterior.

oh. then there was this. by the afternoon everyone. including myself. had had all hey could take of my frequent bathroom stops. i was driving. frustrated at the need to go yet again. i pulled over on the side of the road and did my business.

quick and easy. and nobody saw anything that scarred them permanently. success.

there was also that point in the road trip when making t shirts with sharpie markers went a little further than the shirts. we wanted the world to know that dreams were coming true for us. i think they got it.

there were many of these throughout the trip. the random. self-timer. roadside photo. this was the first of many.

there was also that rest stop at orin junction, wyoming. i used the restroom. shocker. and then we were summoned by a cute man over to his little booth of baked goods. they were doing a fundraiser for their garden club. we can donate. jaymee put three dollars in the pot. we made out with all of these snacks!!!

these were the first of many biker friends that we made throughout the trip. we had actually encountered them at the orin junction rest stop and it turned out that we stopped at the same gas station about one hundred miles down the road. we figured it was fate. we took a picture to remember the moment.

and then there we were. in south dakota. by now we were so giddy. within 60 miles of natalie and jaymee's lifelong dream to see mt. rushmore.

with every turn anticipation mounted...

by the time we got here it was almost too much for any of us to contain.

we finally made it to our campsite in hill city, south dakota. we checked in. set up camp. and of course headed straight to mt. rushmore! there was that car from california that was following way too closely. jaymee pulled over and let them pass. nobody was going to ruin this perfect moment for any of us.

we got to the entrance of the memorial grounds. not to the monument yet. but excited nonetheless. let me paint this picture for those of you who weren't there. i had created a playlist before the trip that was patriotic. heart of america. down-home. country lovin'. good music. i.e. america by: neil diamond. as we took pictures with the sign the car doors were open and this playlist was blaring. like really loud. we were stoked. and so were the passerbys. this is another self-timer miracle.

and then. there we were. at mount rushmore. dreams came true. people in our party probably cried at the moment when you first see the heads. it was great. i coudn't have been happier.

of course i had to take this picture for the loved ones who are from alaska. one of them is there today. as i write. never forget the people who love you.

we talked to these guys while looking at the "iowa" pillar. turns out they were from iowa too. interesting chaps they were. nat captured this picture and i think it pretty much speaks for itself.

oh yeah. there was this kid. of all the places for you to choose to wear such a shirt....a national park. yikes!

we asked a nice couple to take this photo upon our arrival. you'll never guess where they were from...OGDEN UTAH! no freakin' way.

i pledge allegiance...

after taking in as much as we could. our little hearts and souls were just filled to the brim. so we decided to take the hike around and underneath the heads.

here i am. in the womb of mt. rushmore.

and still excited to see them again at the other end of the hike.

of course. there had to be the gangbanger pose.

tut tut it looks like rain.

so we forged the cafeteria for food. having been in a car all day and finally at our destination. the famed mt. rushmore. we decided to eat outside on the patio with the heads as our view. it was great.

just as we finished eating the rain began. it poured. there was lightening. it was really cool to sit outside and watch. but then it started raining even harder. the tent started dripping really cold water on us. so we went inside. these two had ice cream to pass the time.

the rain stopped just in time. as the sun went down we headed to the amphitheater for the flag ceremony. we met mr. ranger and of course had to have a picture with him.

after the presentation they lit the mountain. it was so cool. i may or may not have cried. for a moment in time this very unpatriotic american citizen felt very patriotic. i was proud to be an american. we're comin' to america!

5 states, 4 national parks, 3 days, 2 fugitives, 1 awesome weekend (take 2)

2010-08-11T13:56:00.012-06:00

then it was saturday morning. there we were. laying in our tent. 6:30am. too excited to sleep. and the smell of breakfast cooking aroused our senses. we got up. we showered. we packed up camp. and then we had all-you-can-eat pancakes for $3.00. another reason to love hill city, sd and the crooked creek campground.

after breakfast we were on the road again. like a band of gypsies we go down the highway. we drove through the beautiful hillls of south dakota and saw beauty unmatched. we were not in the desert anymore. this was perhaps our favorite view of the drive. so much so that we had to stop for a picture. that woman who took our picture...she was not sensitive to our fears. "yeah, watch out for rattlesnakes..." um. hello. we were talking about bears in yellowstone. how did rattlesnakes in south dakota come up?

this overlook. the forest. the lake. the boats. the perfect day. all of it combined made us all long for the perfect summer camp. like on the parent trap. we were all making plans for what we'd do if we could be kids again. but kids don't take epic road trips like this. i'll keep the mid-20's. i'm starting to get the hang of it.

after some beautiful driving through south dakota. surrounded by the roar of bike week. we passed through deadwood. saw the sign for the highway we needed to take west to get to devil's tower. we also saw a sign that said "sturgis". uh, this was still pre-gps. pre-gps is how refer to the portion of the trip before i realized that my new phone has a stellar and very accurate gps system built in. that coulda saved us a time or two. oh well. there's more adventure in not really knowing for certain where you're going. or if you're going the right direction. i digress...so there we were. we saw a sturgis sign. we didnt' know just how far sturgis was but we saw a sign so we were going. we needed sturgis t shirts and jaymee still needed to cross "riding on the back of a harley topless" off of her bucket list. there's no time like the present.

while we were in sturgis nat really got into the biker spirit. she got some new ink. i'm fairly certain that naomi approved.

and only in sturgis will you see this... from sturgis we continued our journey to devil's tower, wy. i was stoked to see this giant rock. it's a big climbing spot. and i'd been told by a very reliable source that it was something not to miss. he was right. from miles away at this scenic pull out the rock was pretty stunning.

of course. there had to be the classic "let's make it look like you're holding it" picture. and despite the look on my face in this photo...i am not angry. quite the opposite actually. euphoric happiness.

and up close...it was even more magnificent. these binocular things were all over around the visitor's center so you could see the people climing on the rock. jaymee actually saw two guys high five as climber summited the very tippy top of the rock! now i want to climb it. someday.and this...well. it could be said that this was the winner of the trip. i mean really. look at the hair on that one! and kudos to jaymee for getting the picture while the mullet lady was clueless. i wonder what goes through her hairdressers mind every time she has to cut that hair?
after devil's tower we had very important business to take care of. our families needed their postcards and packages mailed to them from a place with a cool post mark...devil's tower,wy was the place. and this is betty. she's the postmaster here at devil's tower, wy. former mayor of hulett, wy. and one stand up citizen to boot. she somehow managed to get my v.i.p. (very important package) to my loved one's in only one business day. uh. i only paid $4.90 for the flat rate priority envelope. she must have known how important it was for that sturgis bandanna to get there.

on the road again. we preferred the gas stations called "loaf 'n jug". i mean, how could you not?

after leaving devil's tower i needed some backseat nap time. but when i rested me feet comfortably on the cooler the cold air from the ac blew right on my feet and legs. freeze out. i didn't have any pants that weren't buried in the back. but I did have my fleece. it will work as pants for now.

another random roadside self timer shot. somewhere in beautiful wyoming. this whole day was a day of driving beautifulness.

jaymee slept through this double rainbow. and the rainstorm that created it. nat was driving then. it was so cool.

finally. after one wrong turn. time spent in cody wyoming. a conversation with a crazy liquor store lady. discovering that i had a gps system on my phone that could take us anywhere. and after driving through yellowstone national park. we arrived at abigail's house. the house that she left to us. while she stayed at her boyfriend's house. it was like having a private condo in jackson wyoming. we were four lucky girls and honored that she let us stay in her house.

oh. there was one more thing. we weren't entirely alone in the house. abigail has a roommate. i'd never met her. but we met her that night. when we arrived roommate wasn't home. most likely out partying. we liked her already. we were all beat after a long and fruitful day on the road. we all went to bed in our respective places. no spooning. less than half an hour after going to bed i hear the bells on the handle of the front door jingle. jaymee asked, "what's that?" "roommate's home."

the next 20 minutes were perhaps the funniest of the entire three days. there was a knock on the bedroom door. meet leela. "i'm a little drunk." she told us. "i have all of this army shit in my car. i don't know where my gun is." "yes, i'm wearing pants." "oh look, a foofie." she was great. made the night complete. and after the good belly laughs we slept like little babies. thank you abigail!

5 states, 4 national parks, 3 days, 2 fugitives, 1 awesome weekend (final cut)

2010-08-11T11:53:00.011-06:00

there we were. at the genisis of the third day of the most epic road trip in my life to date. though the final day there was still more fun than we could imagine ahead. we woke up at abigial's. thankful for showers. we all left clean. we called abigail to summon them to breakfast with us before we headed out of town. we figured while they got ready we'd seek out a nice bottle of something or other to thank abigail for the accomodations. much to our surprise the liquor store was open at 8am on a sunday morning. god bless wyoming! then of course we had to stop at the jackson loaf 'n jug.

by the time we finished our loaf 'n jug business it was time to meet howie and abigial for breakfast. the virginian. it was a hoppin' place. we saw fellow lovers of sturgis and felt right at home. our hearts were still in south dakota. our table was right by this fellow.

i tried my best imitation...

after a great breakfast we loaded our full bellies into the element and were on our way to the tetons and yellowstone. giddy out of our minds. again. we stopped at the teton visitor's center. lots of fun there. and the perfect book for me.

i found this vest and borrowed natalie's hat for the photo.

then we were off to see the tetons. they were amazing. huge. i could live here. seriously. i think i will. we also made a stop at jenny lake. gorgeous. i got in. it was cold. so cold.

yes, my tetons went to the tetons.

and we had a stamp in our national parks passport for this highway. so of course. we had to take a picture with the sign. duh.

and then it happened. we were almost out of the tetons and on to yellowstone. i was behind the wheel. suddenly. on our side of the road a huge black animal was spotted eating wildflowers on the side of the road.

A BEAR!!!!

it was a real live bear in the wild and we were there. witnessing it. watching it eat wildflowers. scratch behind its ears. lick his..... really. we got to see it. the trip became complete at that moment. i could have died and been whole. but i didn't and we still had more fun.

yep. it was real. and so close to the road.

then we arrived at yellowstone.

there we met this guy. he was from AK. had ridden his bmw motorcycle all the way from AK! not for sturgis. just because. cool guy if you ask me.

the sticker he rocked on his motorcycle.

and then there we were. fulfilling another one of natalie allen's life dreams. watching old faithful.

after old faithful we had lunch in the lodge cafeteria. that was some goooood lasagna. the bread was a bit hard. but the old faithful ale by grand teton brewing company was real tasty. i coulda had another. and another. and another. but we still had a drive ahead. and work tomorrow. silly grown up responsibilities.

after eating we decided another spotting of old faithful was in order. while waiting to see the beauty this time we found ourselves standing next to these fine folks. ron and judy. they are great. so glad we met them.

and old faithful never gets old.

when old faithful was over for the second time. we shopped in the gift shop. then in another gift shop. i found the wooden post card i'd been looking for all weekend. it's become tradition. i don't know what i'll do if i ever take a trip and can't find one!

after gift shop number two the jouney continued on. but not without more fun and excitement. there was a buffalo jam.

so of course we got out to see the buffalo. they were crossing the river and the daddy buffalo was gigantic! so cool.

a few miles down the road we found elk. so close to the road. yikes!

then there we were. out of the park on the other end. we were in state number 4 of our 5 state road trip. montana. i do have a fondness in my heart for montana. i got a bit frisky with the bear.

jaymee and i found the hotel we would stay in should we ever overnight in west yellowstone...westward HO.

and i found my next big rig.

after stopping in at the souvenir shop in west yellowstone we were on the road again. headed home through idaho. there was one last warning that we were in bear country.
and then i turned into a bear and slept in the backseat for the rest of the drive home.

to sum up this weekend couldn't do it justice. it was the best road trip. with the best people. seeing the best stuff we could see. i want to do it again. i think we will. until then. stay cool.

c'mon you unbelievers, move out of the way

2010-08-05T09:42:00.003-06:00

it's here. almost. tomorrow is mt. rushmore day. the playlist is ready. named "gonna bum rush rushmore". don't ask. remnants of pshycobabble from the sarah palin campout. laudry is done. the lawn has been mowed. my bag is packed. the shopping list is made. the campground reservations have been made. we are ready.

the plan:
we will leave long before the sun ever blinks over the mountaintops tomorrow morning. 5am. a scheduled arrival in hill city, south dakota will be approximately 3pm. Plenty of time to set up camp and see the sights...namely "the heads" before dark. this weekend happens to also be the start of the sturgis motorcycle rally. we didn't plan for that. but i'm certain it will add an element of circus-esque activity to the trip. pure adventure always abounds.

saturday we'll depart south dakota en route to yellowstone and the tetons. the last, and only, other time i've been to the tetons was when they were covered in the clouded mystery of winter. i am giddy at the thought of finally seeing the mythical tetons. and then there's yellowstone. another world wonder that i have only been to in winter. via snowmobile. when temperatures were so subzero that we had to take advantage of every warming hut on the long ride in.

well. away we go.

please won't you walk with me

2010-07-28T15:12:00.004-06:00

isn't it interesting in a time of turmoil how love changes things.
how you feel alone and scared.
then.
in an instant.
you're reminded of a love you already knew, your heart is softened.
and warm.
again you know the feeling of safety, trust, understanding, acceptance.
for me.
what's important in life has changed.
i've watched loved ones suffer with lives cut short.
now i have a different perspective of what's important.
i lived most of my life without a love i could trust.
now i have that.
behind my back.
no matter what.

Not your year...again

2010-07-28T07:11:00.003-06:00

I said it six months ago. I still feel the same way. So it's probably safe to say again. It's not my year. When I said that to a cop this morning he let me go without a ticket. So it's been a positive in that regard. But I'd really rather be happy and enjoying life and still have that ticket to pay then to be able to dodge a citation out of pity. Really. How lame.

Yesterday pretty much sucked. That's really the only way to describe it. Well, until 6pm then the night was awesome. But I'll get to that. All in due time. And just to warn you before you waste your time reading this: I'm still complaining about the same things I've been complaining about for a while now. You won't discover much to be new in this post but I'm doing it here so I can refrain from bitching about life outloud and in real life. So yesterday sucked. Most days at work do. I'd like to hope for the best but the frustration becomes more than I can take at times. I've tried. That's really more my style. I've always been a pretty proactive person. Hell, how do you think I got to where I am? I'm starting to wonder if it's hopeless here, in this job. I don't want to leave the company. It's great. The people are great. But where I fall on the corporate ladder is at the bottom. Being on the bottom isn't great. Because when shit falls...it lands on the bottom. Get it? So now I'm to that point in a grown-ups life where I have to figure out how to fix the things in my life that aren't working. Do I get a new job? I don't want to. I'd really rather stick it out and wait for another opportunity to arise within the company. I love this company and really have a lot to offer. I will be a big success here. But how long is worth waiting for that elusive opportunity? And at what cost will I hold out and wait hoping that something I'm qualified for comes around? I used to think it was worth it. Now I wonder.

Yesterday I discovered an opportunity that is worth pursuing. Keen is hiring a customer service rep. That's me. The job is almost a carbon copy of what I do here. And Keen is in Portland. One of the cities on my list of places to live before I die. Seems perfect. I've heard a lot of positive things about the work atmostphere there. Sounds a lot like Backcountry.com. Boy do I ever miss it there. My single reservation about moving to Portland? My BFF and rent-a-parents are in Utah. Yikes! My BFF and I will be like the sky with no moon if I move away. My rent-a-parents...well, for the six months out of the year that they don't live here I miss them like crazy. Am I prepared to live for 12 months out of the year without them?

I officially hate being an adult. I hate being responsible for myself, my happiness and my well being. Why can't I just sit back and be miserable and help those around me feel the same misery? That's not my style. I feel like I need to take action. But the action I've found seems to be BIG action. Hard. Life is hard.

In other news: I had dinner with Mrs. Mullin's mom last night. Jane. She was great. We laughed ourselves silly. She is a genuinely good human being. I picked Jane and her sister Linnie up at their hotel in North Salt Lake. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Yum. The 3 of us shared a slab of ribs. And we all had a real tall beer. We took pictures, laughed, told stories, and laughed some more. I had a great time with them and I am pleased as punch that Kathy orchestrated the whole thing.

Braymee Allen will be reunited Friday eve. I can't wait for that. It's been waaaaaay too long. We're going to a Peter Breinholt concert. That will be more fun than I can convey on these pages.

I must leave you for now. If you left this depresessed...I'm sorry. Don't take an oxycodone to numb the pain, it doesn't work. Have a nice life and I hope your year is going better than mine.

you've got my back when i need help

2010-07-22T16:54:00.002-06:00

today's been a sad day. my boss is leaving. it's a good move for her. i'm happy for that. but a severe loss for myself and the company. i'm sad for that.

you see. life at work before megan (pronounced MEEGAN, not maygun) went a little something like this: there was someone in charge. a customer service manager. world's worst...possibly ever. and then we got the opposite. world's best...possibly ever. and to top it off we became friends.

now megan and her family are moving to germany. really. a great opportunity and tons of fun for them. but i will miss her. a whole hell of a lot. like so much that i've cried several times today. tomorrow is her last day. i'll bring her butter mints for breakfast. even though she doesn't like them. but simply because she gave me hell every morning for eating them. i'll miss that. i'll miss her cute little kids too.

life at work will not be the same. thank you for being a great friend to me megan. oh and ps...we'll still be friends while you're in germany.

did i just hear you say...

2010-07-19T09:51:00.000-06:00

today i thought about things here. check it out. enjoy it. laugh at it. be inspired by it. or don't. it's your life.

i never though i would live like this...

2010-07-15T10:14:00.003-06:00

i'm still in awe...

on the docket for wednesday was a company picnic from 11-1, a mountain bike ride with naftulin at 4:30, and that was it. typical wednesday.

instead. reality held this: the company picnic started at 11. we played games, sat in the sun, enjoyed being out of the office, and ate good food. After we ate mike dowse (as in the president of the company) thanked everyone for coming and read off the names drawn in the raffle. i didn't win. then he announced the arrival of sammy carlson who had just arrived after riding his bike from hood river, oregon to ogden. literally pulling into town as we headed to the picnic. i passed them on washington. gave me goosebumps. after a small lull in activity mike took his post atop the picnic table once more..."i'll cut a deal with you guys. if you help the events committee clean up here you can have the rest of the afternoon off." yes, it was only 12:45pm! i've never seen 100 people clean anything up so fast. it was great. i only wish it weren't inappropriate to hug a man of prestige.

at that announcement naftulin invited me to go with her, sammy, and the other biker boys to the salomon center to play for the afternoon. of course i was in. i had a great time watching them at the flowrider indoor wave. sammy sure picked that up quick. i guess when you're a pro athlete those kinds of things come a bit easier.

naftulin and i decided against the bike ride. with all of the other activity it seemed like a bit much to try and pack it into the day. not to mention...the ride we had planned was mostly in the sun and at a scorching 85 degrees in mid afternoon we weren't really feelin' it. at 3pm i headed home. thought a good movie, a nap, some writing, and a baked potatoe was in order. of all those things a nap was the only thing i managed to successfully complete. fell asleep when i got home at 3 and after sleeping through my alarm this morning woke up at 6:23am. just in time to shower and get to work. no speeding ticket this time.

the harvest left no fruit for you to eat.

2010-07-15T09:30:00.003-06:00

tuesday night i turned down $1.50 tacos and pomegranate margaritas at sonora for tv. yes, you heard me right. this was a show not to be missed. dealiest catch. the episode in which captain phil dies. the episode in which jake decides to go to rehab. the episode in which clint is fired from the kodiak. i cou'dn't miss this episode. or time with two of my favorite kids.

the night ended best when i got a call from alaska. best phone call ever. i miss them. a lot.

guess who, operation, texts from the cutest of boys, deadliest catch, a love sac, a nerf bow & arrow, phone call from alaska, a fat boy (as in the ice cream sandwhich)=a perfect evening.

"jesus take the wheel..."

2010-07-15T09:20:00.003-06:00

sunday night the plan was wings to-go from roosters. to-go to eden to eat wings and watch baby mama with jaymee, nat, tony and colleen. a-plus group of people. we got to tony and colleen's a bit on the late side so everybody was hungry. starving. we ate first of course. 5 orders of wings. the roosters people thought we were nuts. we probably are. this video of me shooting louisiana hot sauce may prove that...

we ended up laughing so much. having so much fun together that well, baby mama fell to the wayside. we didn't watch it. there was too much fun to be had, a sunset to watch, new friends to be made, a drum circle to listen to. really there was just to much other stuff. baby mama will still be there the next time we hang out. i'm sure.

2010-07-13T08:16:00.002-06:00

Wow. Has anybody looked at the calendar lately? I just glanced at the date on my phone. It's July 13th already!!! On Thursday this month will be half over. It seriously feels like moments ago it was July 1st and I couldn't believe that June was already over. Summer is going crazy fast. I'm okay with that. I've had ooodles of fun and there's more where that came from. Seems like every single day fun happens from start to finish. That's probably why every day is here and gone in what seems like a flash.

I'm looking forward to the arrival of September 2nd. 52 days and counting. Summer can pass as quickly as it wants according to me. I can't wait for time with my people. If time keeps up as it is I'll be in Cincinnati in no time. I will miss touch down Jesus though. The poor guy burned. I hope is charred remains are still standing. I would like a picture to remember that by.

how fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes...

2010-07-10T20:28:00.003-06:00

today was crazy. scary. nuts. well. really shook me up.

i decided yesterday to ride the north ogden divide. first time this year. of course. since chalk creek and little red riding hood are quite literally the ONLY two rides that i've been on this summer. after yesterday's speeding ticket i decided that it was high time to get in shape. today was the day and the divide was the place. since i slept in until NOON i finally hit the road at 2pm. I started at the bottom of the divide around 3pm.

the climbing began. to begin on more intermediate terrain would have made much more sense. but then i wouldn't have felt as tough as i felt climbing the divide. and i wouldn't have been there to help ted. both of these things were important to me today. though i couldn't have known that latter.

i slowly. but surely. climbed. i stopped frequently to relax my chest which felt like it was being held in a vice. weird. out of shape. i ate a lot of shot blocks. drank a lot of water. did all the right things. and kept pushing on. as i approached the half way mark of the climb i came to a gravel pull out and stopped. to rest, of course. it was probably my third rest stop of the climb so far. but i was half way there now. making progress. as i stood on the side of the road with my thoughts. drinking my water. eating my shot blocks. i looked up at the very same moment as a loud POP was heard.

meet ted.
i saw a man on a bike. i saw his bike shoot out from under him at the sound of the pop. he followed the bike. sliding across the pavement. through the gravel. coming to rest when he collided with the side of the mountain. i saw it. i saw it all. before he had even come to rest my adrenaline was pumping. i ran across the road to him. "are you okay?" he groaned as he stood up. he hadn't lost consciousness. i was thankful for that. his elbows were scraped and bleeding. not bad considering. he looked great otherwise. said he was okay. a motorist who had also seen the accident had turned around and come back to help also.

ted was bummed about the blown out tire and his bleeding elbows but said he'd just call his wife to come pick him up. he called his wife. didn't give us any decisive information on the phone call or it's contents. mr. motorist asked if we could call a medic just to give him a once over and make sure that everything was okay. ted said no. he was fine. his wife was coming.

then it began.
"did i wreck my bike?" "yeah ted. you had a blow out."
"where are we?" "the north ogden divide." "that's what i thought." (less than a minute after he'd called his wife and told her where to come and pick him up on the divide.)
i looked at mr. motorist and we agreed that we needed medical help. i began to worry for ted. ted was alone. except for strangers. probably scared. he couldn't remember anything. poor guy. i thought about how frightened i would be. and how badly i would want my loved ones to be with me. to lessen the fear. while mr. motorist made the 911 call i stayed with ted. he asked me 4 more times if he'd wrecked his bike. i got tears in my eyes. was he going to be okay? how bad were his injuries? really. was he scared? i was so concerned about that. then ted called his wife again.

meet joan.
when ted called her again, having no idea that he'd just talked to her, she knew something was wrong. i could hear her through the phone. ted handed me the phone. "she wants to talk to you." i told her we'd just called the ambulance. they were on their way. i could hear them crossing the valley below. i related ted's condition to her as honest as possible. without causing undue fear. i did the best i could. then joan told me. "i'm sending our son over from huntsville. don't let them take him in the ambulance. we don't have a job or health insurance." oh boy. i cared about these strangers. it's kinda weird what happens to the human heart when you find yourself in such a situation.

the ambulance and paramedics arrived. i told them what joan told me. they did their thing. they seemed concerned about ted's injuries. i kept hoping against hope that ted's son would get there. i felt like ted needed someone. someone he loved. someone he knew. to comfort him. the medics asked him lots of questions. i think the only thing he got right was his name. he was at a loss for all of the others. "who is the president of the united states?" "i forget." the paramedics told ted several times that they needed to take him to the hospital. he said he was okay. just needed to call his wife to come and pick him up. so the paramedics called his wife. whew. took the pressure off of me. they told joan all about ted's condition. she got it. it was relatively serious.

they loaded ted up on the gurney. still no son. joan was meeting him at the hospital. ted was still alone. probably in a fair amount of pain. but he began to show signs of humor as they loaded him into the ambulance. ted will probably be okay. but i haven't stopped wondering about him since i watched the ambulance take him away. as i pedaled the rest of the way up the divide i looked into the faces of all the motorists coming down the divide. one of them must have been ted's son. i know he and joan live in layton. maybe i'll take him a gift certificate to bingham's cyclery. to help him buy a new helmet. since his cracked down the middle like an egg. coulda been his noggin. thank god for helmets. thank god ted was okay. and thank god that mr. motorist and i were there to help him out.

rock on ted.

It's alright, no one's got it all

2010-07-09T11:49:00.006-06:00

A week in the Land of Brooke.

This has been a great week. I can finally, assuredly say that I am most certainly back on the upswing. Things were REAL touch and go for a while. Perhaps the last month. It could be referred to as a whole month of Mondays. Or like PMSing for an entire month...only with just the mood issues. Not the other stuff that goes with that. Anyway, what's done is done. I must say that there was a moment in time when I was worried. I lost my desire. My motivation. My will. Pretty much everything that is important to my continuance to live. It really is pretty remarkable that I survived.

Okay, now that I've made that ridiculously dramatic. Let's move on. What's been happening this week in my world...besides getting my regular life and person back...

I was assigned a new territory at work. Goodbye East Coast; hello sunny West Coast. Looking forward to working with new reps and accounts. Wahoo.

The boys have all shifted thier desks around here at the office. I stayed. The desk behind me is now empty. Waiting for the new hire. They wanted me close. To help train. Yikes. No pressure though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they hire another girl. We need to even things out in this joint.

They left for Alaska yesterday. I'm glad for them. Still excited for me. To one day see it. The last frontier. Maybe next summer.

Braymee Allen will be reunited as a whole this weekend. I can't wait. To say the least.

There was a FREE Modest Mouse concert in SLC last night. Jaymee and I went. It was great. Of course. They were sniffing drinks at the gate. Didn't think I was gonna get my vodka and Sprite past them. But I did.

I got a speeding ticket this morning on the way to work. Might be karma getting me back for sneaking a drink into the concert. Or for not riding my bike enough this year. Either way. I'm riding my bike more. Starting. NOW.

I think that's most of the goings-on in my little world. It's good. Life is happy. That's all.

what happened to thinkin' that the world was flat?

2010-07-05T11:20:00.003-06:00

i just had a surreal experience. i found out that my friends who just moved here from portland know the kara lady! like know her as in they were next door neighbors several years ago. that's like being on a bike tour in the middle of nowhere southern utah and meeting the college roommate of the person who filled the empty shoes of your mother when you were in high school. IN IOWA! weird. crazy. makes you want another shot of tequila.
so. there i was. sitting at the elggren's kitchen counter. it was the 4th of july. i'd gone to a party the night before. i was telling stories of the eve and showing pictures that had been posted by friends on facebook. i made mention of my friend diane a few times. even her daughter zoe. as i flipped through pictures on the computer screen colleen looked on. i was glad she humored me by looking. suddenly colleen asked if my friend diane was diane downhour... uh, just a refresher, colleen and tony have just moved to utah from portland. where they have lived for the last eight years. so when the words "diane downhour" came out of colleen's mouth. followed by tony spouting off the address where i had hung out the night before. it was a little crazy. okay. a lot crazy. maybe even nutty. after the initial shock wore off it was explained that the elggrens and the downhours were neighbors in salt lake before the elggrens moved to portland. explaining why the address could be so easily rehearsed. omg! this is real.

of course we called diane. had a good laugh. and had another shot of tequila in honor of the downhours. it's a small world. on that sunday in utah there were not six degrees of separation. first thing's first. now i look forward to hanging out with all of them at once. i cannot believe it. whew. after telling the story again i think i need another shot of tequila.

forget the lives we used to live 'cause we're gone

2010-06-30T01:47:00.000-06:00

turns out my biggest unsolved mystery was solved. almost two years ago. and i didn't even know it. damn it. this is like being 24 years old and finding out that the person who raised you had lived an entire secret life before you were born. and everyone around you kept it a secret from you. it feels weird. i don't like it.

what it boils down to. at the hands of my best friend jaymee i learned that the everett ruess mystery was solved in 2008 by a professor in california. to make a long story longer. his grave was stumbled upon. found by decendants of the navajo who had hastily buried him after watching some rival indians do him in. after a lot of research. and with the miracle of modern technology. it was positively concluded that the body found in the crevice grave was that of everett ruess.

it was a long article. 12 pages. but in case you'd like to read it for yourself. do it here. it's interesting. it doesn't give me any less of a desire to adventure. to pack up and hit the road. to see the world. i guess these days the dangers are just different. no indians. but i'm sure there's something else out there. one thing i know for sure is that there is beauty out there. lots of it.

is everybody here okay?

2010-06-29T20:08:00.000-06:00

sunday. the third. and final. day of our bryce/escalante trip. it was a fabulous day. we woke up. showered. packed up camp. stopped one last time at the canyon country gas station. then hit the road to bryce. bryce was full of surprises. it turned out better than we could even have hoped.

our first encounter was mary kay. she will live on in our hearts forever. she made us these signs. if you ask the right person for a sharpie and a piece of paper you'll come out on top with printed signs like these. our dear mary kay also had to deliver the bad news to us. the hike we wanted to go on was closed due to rock slides...seems like a minor detail to me. but i'm a rule-follower so i'll take it. instead of the hike we drove to every lookout in the park. mostly. it was great. we were glad we did.

we were especially glad that we went to the bryce point lookout. where we watched this shit show go down. the lady in black. she was a treat. as we walked back to the main path from the point lookout we heard a squelch. when we looked up it was blacky yelling at her 13 year old son. he was minding his own business walking down the sidewalk that was flat and at least 6 feet in width. safe ground. because he wasn't walking in the middle of the path she was sure he was going to fall to his death off of one of the side cliffs because there weren't fences to protect him. oh honey. we watched the show that was her panic attack. i think maybe she confused having her breath taken away by the beauty for having a need to worry. she should have read that paper in the car about the number of deaths in bryce national park annually. it's low. very low. like one a year. i guess this year it coulda been her son. or her if she hadn't kept breathing through the meltdown. don't get me wrong. i have an appreciation for the fear of heights. one of my nearest and dearest is very fearful of heights and cliffs and such. i was privelidged to hike angels landing with her. the fear is real. but blacky, well....i dont' know what to say about her or to her except, "thanks for the entertainment." and thanks to grandpappy who sat next to us and enjoyed it with us.

after hanging in the park. we were off to more adventure. we stopped at ruby's. it's a giant tourist mall right outstide of the park. it's a store the size of a mall but it's filled with all of those touristy souvenirs and knick-knacks. pretty much our kind of paradise. and to top it off the cashiers were two lady's who portrayed a 65 year old version of braymee. how perfect. they had us laughing. hard. real hard. like i think i might have had tears in my eyes at one point.

my stellar find of the shopping trip was the wooden postcard. of course i bought one. one bit of advice...don't ever tell those two grey haired cashiers you aren't sure of your loved one's zip code. i know the entire address but for some reason i can NEVER remember the zip code. they'll tell ya how many texts and emails they get..."what's your zip code again?" ha. someday i'll get it right. i'd like to credit myself with rememering it for the last 48 hours. 45140.

after ruby's it was off to bryce canyon pines restaurant. at the advice of mary kay. all weekend i'd been craving a bacon cheeseburger. but i needed real bacon. REAL bacon. mary kay said this was just the place. was she ever right. alfred had me before hello. we sat at the bar. it was great. that's were all the action was. just how we like it. we left with a slice of pie to go and a junior ranger hat and badge for our dear comrade natalie allen. turns out the hat was more useful than we initially realized.

after lunch it was time for the beloved drive home. i wasn't really ready to leave. but we had work the next day. and natalie allen said we could visit her on our way through slc. that alone was motivation to return north.

there was but one small mishap on the drive. the sun was shining. just the way we like it. it was a little bright as it began to set in the west. jaymee was driving. i was minding my own business writing a blog in the passenger seat. as i took a drink of coke jaymee asked me to take the wheel while she attempted to hang a pillowcase in the window to block the sun. no the built in visor was not sufficient...don't expect that we didnt' think of that. as i took the wheel with a mouthful of coke something VERY funny happened....oddly, i don't remember what. before i knew it coke was coming out of my nose. i had a computer on my lap. that stuff eats battery acid. i can't imagine that it would be a good thing to upchuck coke on my laptop. so remembering that we can "hose this thing out" i put my head between the seats and released the remainder of the soda from my nose and mouth. it was at this point that i suddenly remembered that it is ME who is in charge of steering as i heard our wheels cross the safety rumble strips on the side of the road. during all of this jaymee is happily hanging her pillowcase. unaware of what is unfolding right next to her. when she hears the rumble strip she turns to see our predicament. to include me. red-faced. tears in my eyes. soda dripping down my chin. she resumed responsibility of the wheel. we were safe. THAT was funny.

we made it to slc in one piece. we visited our friend natalie. presented her with the gift of fish flavored candy. don't be fooled we do love her. a lot actually. we think the world of her as our friend. we appreciate her. probably as much as you can possibly appreciate someone you met in costco 7 months ago. she's great. makes us laugh. a lot. i hope she stays friends with us for a real long time.

we had one hell of a day, dix...

2010-06-27T19:11:00.006-06:00

this is in no way a negative thing. yesterday pretty much went from bad to worse for braymee. lucky for us adventure flourishes no matter what. it was still a great day. despite a few small bumps in the road.

we set out around 9am. off to find adventure. make new friends in escalante. see some natural beauty. we did all of those things. and then some. you see. we had our hearts set on this little hike i read about in my book called "100 hikes in utah". we did a little research. visited dixie at the escalante visitors center. she gave us a paper and told us how to get there. third cattle guard. we made it. strapped on our hydration packs. and began what could later be referred to as the march of death.

oh the hike itself was beautiful. no problems there. we saw a snake. that made things real exciting for a bit. though she hasn't yet admitted it i'm pretty sure jaymee had to clean a brown streak out of her undies that night. for now we'll let her think that we're fooled. we hiked through a beautiful wash. slickrock walls surrounded us on every side. we loved it. little did we know we hiked two thirds of the hike "off trail". turns out that in a hike book when they say "follow the wash bed 2.0 miles" they don't mean to literally walk down the bed of the wash. there were other human footprints there. we weren't the only ones. but i still felt dooped.

then it began. it started small. small things can get big. real big. you see, i had a little case of the mencies. i was plainly convinced that the painful part was over. therefore not seeing a need to pack any type of pain relief for the 5 mile hike. i'll spare you the horrific details. suffice it to say that jaymee and i both thought that she may have to piggy back me out. by the time we reached the car i was running for my ibuprofen 800's like a toddler to his mother after a long day at the sitter. i think i may have even heard "chariots of fire" playing in my mind. but victory wasn't instant. that magic white pill needed some time to do it's thing. while that happened i laid in the passenger seat of howie writhing in pain. i wanted my mommy...or to die. thank goodness jaymee and i share a brain (and 7 years of friendship) she knew just what to do. leave me alone. she drove to the nearest gas station to change her shirt. buy some ice. get a cold drink. make some new friends. meanwhile i laid in the car. a bit thankful to be alone. so i could verbally express the depth of my pain. and anger at mother nature at that moment for making me a girl. by the time she returned to the car i was beginning to feel the first signs of relief. i think jaymee knew this when i turned and said "i haven't been in that much pain since the last time i was in that much pain..."

with my improving physical condition we made the executive decision to return to the national monument for some more sightseeing. this time by car instead of foot. we didn't want to push our luck. we drove the road that i pedaled last september in the southern utah bike ride. those hills looked bitchin'...and not in the good way. i'm proud of myself for pedaling up them. i'm pretty tough. on the other side of the monument we saw a sign to a road that said "hell's backbone". of course we took it. that was after jaymee tried to take a road meant for high clearance vehicles in howie. his meager 10 inches of clearance really didn't help when we were driving over rocks that were at least 13 inches high...but we made it out of there with our fuel tank still attached. that's all that matters.

turns out the hell's backbone road wasn't the long way back to town. it was the really really really long way back to town. BUT. it was also the really really really spectacularly beautiful way back to town. we most likely could have made the drive in half the time that it took us. we stopped every 50 yards to take a picture of the spectacular beautifulness. we were having fun. *suddenly i hear the chorus to "ain't nothin' gonna hold me down" by men at work*

we got back to town. made some tin foil dinners. yum. they were beyond tasty. i tried to have a beer. i was even too tired for that. now that's pretty tired. after dinner i went to bed. yeah. it was only 8pm and the sun was still shining bright. judge me. my body had a rough day.

it never divides it only multiplies...

2010-06-25T22:01:00.003-06:00

it has begun. the start was a bit touch and go at first. but we made it. that's really all that matters at this point. we had to make two stops on our way out of town. smiths for chips, gas, firewood, and ice...the essentials. and alliance (aka "shitty") property management to drop off my rent and 3, yes i said THREE, maintenance request forms. i've already called them but we like to keep things formal. see this blog.

wait. where was i? i got off track. happens a lot lately. anyway. we're at smith's. jaymee's gassin' up and i come out of the store with the wood, ice, etc to notice a VERY flat tire on the element. damn it. jaymee got so mad she kicked her shoes off at the car. we filled up the tire and headed down the block to the les schwab. those boys fixed 'er right up. and for free. man. we are cool. and people know it. they reward us for it.then we were off. only to be punished yet again. in lehi we came upon a plethora of vehicles without a plethora of speed. bad combination. but we waited. we tried to be patient about it. jaymee did the fist pump to neighboring cars. you know. the signal that most 8 year olds give to truckers. yeah. she was just doing that to your every day motorists. one smoker dude gave her a smile. no honk. but a smile. brightened her day just the same. we eventually made it to the head of the issue. a brokedown pick up in the center lane. bad form dude. i don't know what i expected him to do. but something. at least.

then it was off to kranky franks. we didn't take a single picture this time. but we stopped. you didn't think we wouldn't. did you? if so, you underestimate us. the man of the house was working again. we asked about his wife. again. we haven't seen her since the very first time we stopped. we were looking for the liquor store that time. kinda how we found the place. i think she was appalled by our "unruliness". the look on her face said "how can grown women act in such a way?" but by the time we had eaten our wieners, taken pictures, and left i think she realized that we are grown only in body, not spirit. we bid sir kranky frank farewell and asked him to give his wife our best.

then. less than an hour later. there we were. minding our own business. driving down the freeway at a healthy 85mph when the convulsions began. i thought jaymee was going into epileptic shock. not to worry. she was fine. overcome with uncontrollable joy and excitement. but fine. she was checking facebook on her phone. she found this:

Kranky Franks--Springville, Utah Just wanted to tell the ladies from Ogden. We are always so excited to have you come in and eat--Thanks for coming by. I hope the next time I am there so you don't think of me as the Kranky old lady. Hahahahaha Enjoy southern Utah ladies.

at this moment the road trip officially began. we took the traditional "this road trip begins NOW" picture. we were laughing. happy. spilling boxes of whoppers. yeah. we were in adventure mode. we were honored to have been given such a shout out by our dearest mrs. kranky frank. i hope we get to see her next time.

after these joyful moments of laughter we made crazy fast time on the freeway (no mommy, i wasn't speeding....that much). we got to bryce canyon national park promptly at 7pm. only to find that a rodeo was starting in the city of bryce AND the campgrounds were both full in the park. damn it. i really wanted to go to that darned rodeo. oh well. we live in utah. there's plenty more hick where that came from. we called ahead to escalante. our back-up plan. they had a campsite just for us. "get here when you do. if we're not in the shop, set up your camp and we'll settle up in the morning. camp where you want. there's towels in the shower house. make yourself right at home." steve was good to us from the start.

there we were. leaving bryce only 10 minutes after our arrival. there wasn't much for us there considering the circumstances. we'll be back sunday. on our way out of the park we saw a family by the park sign taking the token tourist photo. there were three kids. all perched in their chosen places atop the sign. mom was taking the photo as dad looked on. barely slowing i pulled over to do a 180 degree turn in direction. "mom and dad need to be in the picture too. they need someone to take it and we're just the people to do it." i explained to jaymee. she agreed. when we pulled in they explained that someone before us had taken the full family photo. but since we had gone to the trouble of turning around just for them they posed for just one more. made us feel good. as the family left another arrived. they had a dog that they lovingly referred to as "poopy". still not sure if that was really his/her name or not. we'll go with it. they took some great photos for us. we honked at them when we passed them pulled over later down the highway. we make friends everywhere. people love us. we ARE cool.

we got to escalante. the campground was all we hoped for. and more. steve entertained us in the store while the lady next door got our pizza cooked. we invited him out to our tent site for a beer. he told us he just might take us up on that one. i love this guy. turns out he owns the joint. maybe tomorrow he'll sit around the campfire and sing kumbaya with us. you never know.

i'm gonna drive through the hills with my hand out the window

2010-06-24T11:18:00.004-06:00

i'm pretty stoked for this weekend. to say the least. i'm joyful because i won't have to see the office or my desk for two and a half days. happy because, well, i know you're shocked...but i'm going on another adventure. this one is almost like going somewhere new. my bff (and travel buddy extraordinaire) and i will be spending the weekend in bryce canyon national park and grand staircase escalante national monument. i passed through both of these places on the southern utah bike ride i did last year. i've since made a speedy visit through bryce (two weeks ago with the students from the boarding school) that really only allowed for a drive down the main road, two lookout stops, and one emergency potty stop.

this time we're going back to explore. to take our time. to get to know the nature of bryce canyon national park on an intimate level. this time we will have fun. we'll hike down into the depths of bryce's hoodoos. probably ride our bikes on the park road. maybe see a speedgoat or two.

then. on sunday morning we'll adventure to grand staircase escalante national monument. possibly (next to moab, of course) among the planets greatest beautys. there we'll hike calf creek falls to see the 126 foot waterfall. visit erda at the local inn. have a pizza at escalante outfitters. and maybe ride our bikes there too.

the last time i was eating pizza in escalante was with them. we had a great time. i miss them.

we'll just call them the dipshits

2010-06-24T09:45:00.003-06:00

last night i went home from work and made the third attempt to mow my lawn since the "new" mower was delivered last wednesday. it didn't work. big surprise. let me back up and tell you the lawn mower story.

at the end of april when the temperature warmed and i began to look forward to mowing the lawn...yes, i said "look forward to mowing". i love to mow. that's why i signed up for this job. anyway, at the end of april i called the property management company (hereafter referred to as "the dipshits") asking them to come and unlock the cable that was holding the mower hostage in the backyard. three weeks and four phone calls after the first call dipshit #1 finally made it to the property to cut the lock because she couldn't find a key. thanks. that weekend i spent a day trying to get the damn thing to start. no luck. i signed up to mow the lawn, not be a small engine mechanic. so i called the dipshits again. when i told her of the latest predicament she stated that the property owner may want to buy a new mower due to the age of the one we had. "great" i thought to myself. these dipshits are finally going to do something right. in the meantime she sent the work crew over to take care of the lawn while she got a new mower. SEVEN weeks later she called and let me know that she had finally found a new mower and would be dropping it off at the property. that was last wednesday. i came home from work that day before heading to a meeting in salt lake just to see the new mower. i was excited. i guess i didn't speak their language. by "new" mower i think dipshit #1 meant she was going to the d.i. to get another mower for me. but at least this one started. friday when i got off work at noon i went home...again, looking forward to mowing the lawn. being outside in the sun. listening to my tunes uninterrupted.

i put on my mowin' clothes and headed outside. i got a good 6 to 7 minutes of mowing in before the mower died the first time. though not empty the gas was low so i thought maybe this was the issue. i went to the gas station on the corner. bought a $12 gas can. and filled it with gas. i filled the mower up and fired her up again. she ran for about 30 seconds and died. really? yes, really. i was mad. frustrated. tired of this always being the case with the dipshits. i left the mower in its place. changed my clothes. and moved on to the weekend fun.

on monday i decided it was time to give it another shot. hoping for the best i started the mower again. this time she gave me a solid 17-19 minutes before death. i got the biggest patch of grass mowed. but it sure is long in the front yard. sorry maxine. we look like we are trying to be from the hood. or the south.

yesterday. first thing in the morning. i call the dipshits to inform them that their "new" mower didn't run. and also. that the broken sprinkler i informed them of when i called about the original mower (8 weeks ago, in case you'd lost count) was STILL broken. i didn't leave my usual angry bitch message. i couldn't help but laugh. in a sarcastic and laughing tone i said, "you're probably tired of hearing from me. don't sweat it, the feelings are mutual. i'm simply calling to let you know that your "new" mower doesn't run." i then recounted my multiple attempts to mow the lawn. "oh and one last thing now that it's getting hot and the grass is dying. that broken sprinkler that i made you aware of two months ago when i called is still broken." that was 26 hours ago. i still haven't heard a peep from them. i half expected them to show up at my door with a sawed off shotgun last night just to get rid of me.

after a frustrating day at work yesterday i decided to make an attempt at putting some positive energy and activity in my universe. so i thought, if i can get that mower to run long enough to finish what little is left of the lawn that would be real great. i got home from work. put my mowin' clothes on. started the mower. and she died before i could even get behind to push it. ha. so much for good thoughts and actions. i was pissed. i angrily pushed the mower across the lawn back to the place where she lives behind the house. i bid her farewell with my middle finger.

when i walked into the house i saw the filth of the common area and thought that may be a good place to take out my aggression. i got the broom. the vacuum. a dust cloth. and went to town. five hours later my apartment AND the common area were spic and span. i felt good. well, better, at least.

you seem like a soldier who's lost his composure

2010-06-23T08:00:00.002-06:00

what do you do when you don't know what to do anymore?
when all of the pictures on the walls of your world seem to be falling.
the walls themselves aren't yet caving in.
it's not that bad.
but it's not easy.
it's hard to stay happy. positive. motivated.
i'll keep smiling.
it's pretend.
i'm sarcastic.
i've been in this place on this road before.
i'll have to move in one direction or the other.
i hope i can muster the courage and energy to go the right way.
the wrong way holds harsh consequences.
these are the times when my toddler instinct returns.
i'd like to close my eyes and disappear.

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T16:01:00.003-06:00

See the World.

2010-06-20T15:58:00.002-06:00

Really though. Inspiring doesn't begin to describe it. We took the students of the private boarding school where I volunteer to Bryce Canyon National Park. Well, Bryce Canyon along with a bunch of other places.

On day 2 we returned from our day's outing to find that our camp had been snowed on. Yes, you heard me right...snow! In the middle of June in southern Utah. You can't trust anybody these days.

This is also that time we arrived back at camp to find snow...Jaymee (The Tall One) was nominated to remove the snow from the sagging canopy. And that part about her being tall was a joke...

On Saturday we spent the entirety of the day at a place called Best Friends Animal Sanctuary. This is Jaymee driving the motorized cart to feed the pigs their dinner of fresh cut romaine and watermelon. I'm telling you, these well-loved swine eat better than most humans.

This is Hank and Chuck. I took this picture for Diane. She has a special attachment to things named Hank.

Yes, we're always having a good time. This was when we helped in the puppy class at Best Friends.

Seriously so excited to be there.

I do love a good mallow. And I think the mallow-esque jacket adds a nice touch to the photo.

Yep, camping in the freezing rain is still fun if you're us.

We loved this place so much that we're going back again this weekend. The adventure never stops.

Even when we try, it's hard to be grown-up and serious.

I think as I was taking this photo Jaymee was looking at her finger and yelling ouch after she burned it while checking on our tin foil dinners that were cooking in the fire. They, I might add, were VERY delicious.

This was in the piggie office at Best Friends. To me, it's a sign. The world really does not want me to reproduce.

After my truckin' days, I got real good at radio talk. For the afternoon while we worked with the pigs Jaymee and I each had these radios in case we needed to call Brandi (The Pig Lady). I don't think that poor lady knew quite what she was in for but she managed to handle her time with us like a champ. We left loving her. We'll go back. I hope she doesn't mind.

Jaymee and her buddy, Chuck. She loved this guy. I'm thinking if she didn't already have one K-9 at home she'd be takin' this guy in a heartbeat.

This was after I got to spend some QT with Torpedo. He's a bulldog/pitbull mix and a huge sweetheart. I loved him.

Not only did we walk dogs...but we walked pigs too! I am a girl of many talents. I can teach you sometime if you'd like.

This was our lunch view...worthy of National Park status to say the least. We'll go back to Best Friends, I promise.

This was also at the puppy class. This was the little princess that I grew fond of. Her name was Trip. I love her. I want her to be mine.

In summary, the weekend was busy. We gave much of ourselves and our time at Best Friends. It was a great experience and I will do it again. We saw Zion National Park. Bryce Canyon National Park. We slept in the rain. We woke up to frost covering our tents and anything else standing still. We roasted marshmallows and hot dogs in the rain. We found the only pair of long underwear that could be bought in the town of Kanab. I bought them. They saved me. Most importanly, we had fun.

random thoughts on a lazy weekend...

2010-06-19T16:40:00.004-06:00

this summer is shaping up to be stellar.
i'm staying so busy.
taking so many trips.
finding so much adventure.
that this weekend i had to take a break.
just a moment to relax.
one day to sleep in.
i made it until 8.
after waking up at 5:30 to give the pup his breakfast.
really all i've done so far today is relax.eat.nap.
that's all about to change.
in an hour i'm going on a date.
with craig.
i'm looking forward to it.
i haven't been on a date since Alex.
and now that i think about it...
that was the last time i was house-sitting here.
weird.
i hope this one turns out to be less into himself than that one.

tomorrow is a bike ride.
chalk creek.
we'll ride into wyoming.
i just remembered that i failed to print the email with directions to the start.
damn it.
looking forward to that.
i'll get to see kym.diane.penny.jeff.
most of my little red riding hood friends.
i miss them.
makes me want to live in salt lake again.

i got a new phone yesterday.
the motorola droid.
i love it.
i've had iPhone envy.
mostly only for the internet and touch screen capabilities.
okay, a little for all the cool apps too.
i found out the droid can do all those things too.
so it won.
benjamin was great.
i think we're all happy.

for now i must run.
i still have to dry my hair.
and straighten it.
and put make up on.
yes.
i said make up.
later.

they'll miss the taste of wanting you

2010-06-17T09:49:00.002-06:00

am i broken?
is it possible for me to remain happy in a job for more than two years?
i wasn't unhappy at backcountry.com.
why did i leave?
the grass is always greener.
i wouldn't have rent-a-parents if i hadn't.
that alone makes it worth it.
but this part sucks.
i can blame anything on someone else.
i'm sure if i could just be grown-up enough about this.
if i could just let it roll.
if i could be a better human being.
have a better heart.
not expect so much from him.

i'm tired.
tired from working really hard not to let it get to me.
it.
the way he treats me different than the others in my department(and not in a good way).
the way almost nothing i do is right.
good.
okay.
the way i am scrutinized like an elementary child when I take 3 minute bathroom visits.
the kings of the clan are held to different standards.
here it doesn't pay to be a queen.
maybe it's a man's world.
maybe i don't party with the right crowd.
whatever it is, something isn't right according to him.

Meet Braymee

2010-06-11T11:40:00.003-06:00

When my BFF Jaymee and I were working together preparing the Lewiston Park for the onslaught of cyclists and celebration we realized how very smart we are. With our knowledge and powers combined we could easily take over the world. We can most certainly decorate a park. While discussing our combined super-human powers we figured out that alone we each look like this: but combined we are this: one whole, gigantic, brilliant, genius, fun, hilarious, and awesome thinking machine. With that, we are off to Zion for the weekend. Yes, you heard me. We are responsible for keeping three teenagers safe and happy for 4 days. We will conquer. Braymee can do anything. Anything.

"What the hell is cockey?"

2010-06-10T02:04:00.000-06:00

Really. The fun in my life doesn't stop. I'm okay with that. Last night was another one for the books. I got to hang with the Elggren family at their new pad in Eden. Nice digs. Great people. Man did we ever laugh. A lot. And we ate pizza. There's no faster way to my heart. Unless it's a double pepperoni/double cheese pizza...which it was. My heart is also quickly won when I'm eating this perfect pizza while parked between two of the greatest, funniest, sweetest, cutest, kids...who think that I am awesome. Yes, they have my heart. And we already have our next playdate entirely planned: kickball, gun wars, roasting giant marshmallows, football, jet wars, etc.

Some key quotes of the evening were when Jordan asked, in succession: "Dad, can she spend the night?" "Dad, can she come to Hawaii with us?" "Dad, can we go home with her?" "Dad, can we order her a ticket to Hawaii?" Jordan, the answer to all of those questions is yes. Tell your dad to hop to it on ordering my Hawaii ticket. Elggren family, welcome to Utah.

In case you were wondering....

2010-06-10T01:57:00.000-06:00

Jordan says.

gotta hold on and live your life day by day

2010-06-09T07:15:00.003-06:00

i woke up this morning.
better than yesterday.
that is good.
while i prepared for the day i thought about yesterday.
i thought about all of the things in my life that are good. beautiful. happy. funny. lovely.
i wondered how it is that a day like yesterday is possible.
it could be that i'm really hard on myself.
i'm harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. trust me.
it's pretty much a downward spiral from there.
i don't like it.
it freaks me out.
i feel out of control.
and i definitely don't like that.

but there is a lot of beauty. wonder. love. joy. in my life.

here are just a few of the things i was reminded of this morning:

i have already taken more trips this year than most people get to take in an entire year.

i have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time in Moab already this year.

i have two bikes.

i got new shoes yesterday.

i have a job.

i get paid.

i have a rent-a-mom and rent-a-dad who love me a lot.

i live in the mountains.

i have the best bff out there.

i defeated logic and reason by turning out to be a productive member of society.

i am ok.

i knew that.

yesterday was just a bad moment.

a small blip in the grand scheme of things.

hopefully next time i'll be able ride the wave with a little more grace.

in the meantime i need to pack for Zion.

my ride is showing up in t minus 52 hours and 23 minutes.

time is of the essence.

ha.

whoa

2010-06-08T14:00:00.004-06:00

who pushed the shit button?
who so inappropriately stacked these boxes in the closet so that they would all crash on my face when I opened the door?
it was most likely me.
it's my life.
i'm the only one to blame.

just when i think i've got it together.
maybe i'll never have it together.
maybe fucked up is in my genes.
i think i know the answer to that.
i'm frustrated.
tomorrow may be fine.
but that doesn't fix today.
or me.
what is my problem.

my illogical solution is to run away from home.
take to the road.
see the world.
lose my cell phone.
my internet connection.
my facebook page.
i know that's a senseless thought.
but a girl can dream.

for now i'll just keep doing what i do.
i'm sure tomorrow will be just fine.
i'm probably being dramatic.
overreacting.
judge me.
i'll care less as this day progresses.

until tomorrow.
when the world is a brighter place.
hopefully.

"thank you for calling vagina onlina" and other things you'll hear when you call the number written on the bathroom wall...

2010-06-06T21:07:00.004-06:00

Where to begin?

The party began Thursday when the work whistle blew. I was free and off on another adventure. A trip to Idaho via the bike shop made our world collide with Officer Stumm. He was nice. Gave us the really really good deal. We liked him for it. I think it was the trucker hats that Jonna and I were wearing. Either way, nobody has to pay a ticket. He didn't put a damper on our party...I don't think anybody could have. Jaymee's mom met us in Malad, ID. Little Molly Mo is spending some QT with Grandma Peggy this week.

Friday morning bright and early Jaymee and I set out for Lewiston. Who knew we'd find so much fun in such a small community? I drove the big rig up Sardine Canyon stopping only at the Flying J on the way. Ya know, I had to shower. We arrived in Lewiston punctually at 9:57am. I'm officially a pro at driving a big rig now. Jaymee and I helped unload the truck, practically became tassle hanging professionals, wrapped tables faster than anyone else can, and made quite the name for ourselves. We became too valuable to spare. I like that.

By the time the party began Friday evening we were pooped. I think we spent more time sipping fruit punch on the tailgate of the Element than anything else. We were entertained, happy, and off of our feet so who cares? The party was great though. Even in the rain. The food was good. The entertainment sang about boobs and va jay jays. And the company was splendid.

When I began volunteering with LRRH earlier this year I went monthly to the planning meetings. I didn't know anybody. They didn't know me. I arrived on time. Listened to the business. Added my two cents at the appropriate times. And promptly left for home when finished. I didn't get to know many people. Odd, I know. BUT. There was a lady whom, every meeting, I wanted to talk to. I wanted to tell her how much she reminded me of Kara. In the meetings I realized she was also very funny. Like Kara. I wanted her to know. Each meeting when I saw her my belly would do a little flip. I'd get that knot in my throat. And I'd have to remind myself that it wasn't really her. And every time it happened I sent a text message to probably the only person on the planet who cared. "OMG, the Kara lady just got here. It trips me out to see her every time!" Every time the text message was the same. This week throughout the LRRH festivities and fun, I finally had the opporutnity to get to know the Kara lady a bit better and to share with her her Kara-ness. I hope she was honored. If she had known Kara she most certainly would be.

My first night as a trucker, Diane (aka The Kara Lady) decided I looked like a "Hank". It stuck. People were yelling "Hank" to get my attention for the next five days. I think some began to be confused as to whether Hank was a peen or a gine...I was never confused. NEVER. It was funny. Only a preface to what a fun, fabulous, and full of laughs weekend that was ahead. On Friday I started drinking Mountain Dew at noon. Didn't take us long to get zoinked...added too much catnip. Fun was had by all. Friday night I probably stayed up too late, probably drank too much Mountain Dew and fruit juice, and most likely shouldn't have partied. But I did. You only live once.

Saturday was the big day. 4am came REAL early. Jaymee and I got up on time. Got out the door on time. And only left one thing in the hotel. My new rain jacket. Thanks to Jaymee it was successfully recovered. Upon arrival in Lewiston we finished the set up of the finish line bar in the dark. Thank god for headlamps. Thank god we thought to bring them. We really are pretty smart girls. By the time we finished the bar it was nearly go time. I put on my riding gear, took another dose of Tylenol, had some pancakes, and hit the road.

What a ride. I rode with Lynn until mile 25 where the 58 mile route split off from the 80 and 100 mile routes. I continued on. I did not break a rule and listen to my iPod with headphones in my ears. I rode 30 more miles to the lunch stop where I met up with my BFF who had fallen asleep in her car. Poor girl was tired from working so hard. As I was scanning the crowd in the park to find Jaymee I did find Diane and Kym. After lunch I chose to cut off a few miles and ride the remainder of the course with Kym and Diane. Best decision of the day. It was a gas. We sang old country songs and made up a few of our own. "I am woman hear me roar. Though my parts are really sore." We finished. We smiled. We ate. We took pictures. We hugged. We were all glad to be there.

In summary: I was honored to be a part of such an amazing event. I was pumped to make so many new, fun, and truly fantastic friends. I was comforted to feel that Kara would have been proud of my efforts. Proud that I contributed so much to something so good. The only thing missing was a few of my closest loved ones. Aside from that it was a most perfect experience.

But really, next year you should be here. What? You don't ride a bike? That's fine. There's a distance for everyone. What? You live in Iowa? That's fine. We've got places for you to stay. Seriously though, get out here for LRRH 2011. Kara will be proud of you too, I promise.

one year ago...

2010-06-02T15:33:00.001-06:00

i posted this:

Friday, May 29, 2009

For Kara
I am living for today, not someday. This lesson I gained from you.In a photo of your smiling face I'm reminded of your love for people, your faith in humanity, and your joy for life. My aim is to honor your memory and I am compelled to work to that end.I long to hear your voice, your laugh. To converse, have a beer, laugh. Never a shortage of laughter in your presence.

Little Red Riding Hood is one short week away. Until now I was selfishly worried about my abilities to complete the ride...thoughts have shifted, focus has changed. Today I remembered why I am riding. Not because friends are riding, not because I needed the 100 mile challenge, not because I wanted the t-shirt, definitely not because I was dating a bike shop boy when I registered, not because I like organized rides, and not even because I thought it would be a cool thing to do. I am riding for Kara, in her memory, in her honor. I'm contributing to other women faced with the atrocious battle Kara fought. Kara would want that, she helped others and it could be said THAT was her legacy...contributing to others.

and here we are again in 2010.

makin' mommy proud...

2010-06-02T06:07:00.002-06:00

i've been given the opportunity to make a strategic career move. i'm going to take up smoking and long haul truckin'. i pick up my rig tonight. you'll find me on the CB, just call satin bunny. if i don't answer there's a chance i'm taking advantage of another one of the perks of life on the road. i'm probably showering at any random flying j. happy trails.

roll on highway, roll on along
roll on daddy till you get back home
roll on family, roll on crew
roll on momma like i asked you to do
and roll on eighteen-wheeler roll on
-roll on, alambama (lyrics courtesy of www.cowboylyrics.com)

feel it

2010-06-02T05:47:00.000-06:00

and dance. we do.

i could ask you the same question, but i already know the answer

2010-06-02T03:57:00.000-06:00

"get back out on the road. really. you should make a radical change in your lifestyle. the core of mans spirit comes from new experiences. and there you are, stubborn old man. sitting on your butt.

you're wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships. it's in everything. anything we could experience. people just need to change the way they look at those things."
-chris mccandless, into the wild